I still actually write and dont just use the keyboard and screen.

Some of you may have in the past; and still receive my handwritten letters on real paper. I also keep a journal and have done so since I was about 15 years old; okay, I may miss a few days here and there (well sometimes weeks, months, years) but I always come back to it.

I cut up cardboard to about the size of a playing card (good recycling!) and have stacks of them around the house. I use them for making little notes, jotting down ideas or even the original reason for doing it, writing a shopping list. In the shed I also have these little cards (and in the car) but, in the shed I have bigger pieces of cardboard cut from beer and cider packaging, which I make my ‘shed’ notes on – plans, measurements etc.

And… in the late of the night, I use these larger ones to write poetry?

I learned the art of recycling little pieces of paper to make ideas bigger, plans clearer and a place to actually put a pen to a piece of squashed wood, found in a broken carton or beer box, from a friend: a lifelong friend: for which I will be forever grateful (although now I have more stacks of little pieces of cardboard and paper than meaningful thoughts!)

… and now I sit and write (very close to a friend of mines birthday?) and think about why it is that I often write, knowing, but hoping, that others may read what I …. muse about.

… in addition there are many stacks of these little cards: and perhaps tooooo many of the larger cards with my poetry, that I don’t share: I think perhaps in the new year I will post them regularly so-as you may suffer, as I have, in writing them….

I have but a few days until the celebration of the birthday of a mate (and gratefully the day before the birthday of my always stalwart sister Cheryl)… I think in this time, other than packing my bags to travel to the big city; where I look forward to spending time with friends and family, I will perhaps not trouble myself with those thoughts that seem to engulf our lives, particularly mine; for no purpose other than pain, or anguish, or regret, or the imagined sinister nature of the future yet untold… I think, I will spend that time writing things that are honest, meaningful and do not preach but tell a story, of from now until then.

I have missed writing, although I have been doing it so long… and since the theft of my beloved diary (not my Journal as that would be just tooooo harsh!); I have, well no, I am, attempting to enter a digital age of writing that travels with me, is saved in the cloud (where ever that is) and I know will be a place I can come to, hide perhaps, but always access, the writings, that I love so much.

In doing that, today I posted a letter (I think I paid too much for the postage… it changes all the time and I have outdated rolls of stamps in the hundreds which I bought with a great of expectations, and now plaster on the envelopes, of letters with as much expectation…)… the first for a long time.

I am practicing tonight, with fingers on a keyboard; not as I love, the swirl of pen on paper; to write a request tomorrow to ask for a new view of what it is like to be a member of our race, our humanity, our planet, out country, our state, our region, our community… or just neighbours:

…. and if the world is as I see it, I do not expect to fail: for in this request, there is but triumph for everyone.

I hope, pray, believe: I can write tomorrow and make a difference.

(Wow, how is that for click bait… although, I have no intention but to post this on my long lamented blog: which I love: I am embarrassed by: I am proud of: and it provides me with the solace to be, who, I suspect I have always been.)

I promised myself that I would write a positive post…..?

So this one is actually not about social distancing or being ‘trapped at home’ but about how I am thinking about all that.

Friedrich Nietzsche was a German Philosopher who was a bit controversial in his opinions and ideas, but one quote of his was:

He who has a why to live can bear almost any how.

You can find a lot of his quotes in a book called “Man Alone with Himself“.

I think that is where we are about now!

That doesn’t sound very ‘positive’ but in actuality it is. We all have so much to live for; in other words so much good in our lives that often we don’t notice it until it is gone.

At the moment I think we are all still ‘scrambling’ a bit thinking that all that matters in disappearing, we can’t do it, it is being taken away from us…. or we are just caught in thoughts of doom and gloom; actually without even thinking about what that doom and gloom is.

I understand that some people are in real stife financially having lost their employment or having their businesses put in jeopardy… but, as my old mate Des would often say at funerals, “But, we’re still here”.

So, I am taking a moment to not worry about the doom and gloom. I am taking a moment to think about all the good things in my life. I am taking a moment, a lot of moments actually, of being grateful.

Yep, just good old gratitude for the fact that so many things I do, people in my life I see, know, have known, or are yet to meet; the things I have in my possession, and the things that are mine that no-one can take away from me.

There are lots of ‘gratitude challenges’ on the internet which I have looked through, and even done a few. Feels a bit stupid at times, but, I am forever amazed at how noticing can make such a difference.

Well, I am keeping my post short as I understand the average reading time of any Facebook, blog, tweet or other post is about 10 seconds; sorry to have held you up.

So, I may as well start and hopefully will be able to continue over the coming days….

I am grateful that I can read whatever book I choose.

PS: I wrote this post on the story of a mate of mine called Adam. He said that he had a WhatsApp group at work and people were complaining and fear mongering on it about the COVID19 virus situation and he posted that people should try a ‘gratitude challenge’ – he copped a lot of flack!!!! I then went back and looked up some old posts and realised it was Adam that had encouraged me to do a 21 day gratitude challenge which you can have a look at here – 21 Day Gratitude Challenge

I posted the other day, in a long rambling monologue about my insanity; and my trek.

It was a little bit like an instruction manual for climbing Mount Everest where on ever page it says “It will be really cold”. Strangely helpful in reminding us of the bleeding obvious (much like ‘contents hot’ embossed on the plastic lids of take away coffee cups!) yet practically as helpful as political election speeches.

So, my trek is not up Mount Everest which considering the latest photographs of the number of ‘adventure tourists’ lining up on the north face, it would be more pedestrian than lining up at the self serve checkout at your local supermarket (an argument for another day about self serve checkouts!).

My trek is arguably harder?

Firstly, I am setting out without a guide, no sherpas (I must carry my own baggage) and no map. These things sound very ‘Burke and Wills’ but I think the difference is:

• I will seek a guide
• I am happy to have help carrying my load
• I know which maps not to use (the ones I have been using all my life!)

I’ll tackle the last point first. A very smart man Bod Kearney once told me a story from his Army days which had this simple message:

If the map doesnt match the ground then the map is wrong.”

The maps I have been following most of my life did not match the ground; and I did everything to change the ground; I could not accept that my map was wrong.

I am now drawing my new map which matches my ground. My major landmarks are my values and marked on the map first. Then establishing my true north is based on my value, past experience and my destination. My major landmarks are my values and marked on the map first. These are my true values not the ones sold to me by others or established in power, greed or anger – they are from my heart – the true me.

In doing this north never changes, only the way I decide to navigate through my life, through hardships and joys. Never blaming the weather, the hills or bad travelling companions as I have said before.

It is a bit scary to be setting out on unchartered paths. It is the trek I need to take, the one I have been waiting all my life to start. The first step is the hardest and I have taken it.