Better at Thinking Like Einstein: Quotes

So often in life when things are good or things are bad we are reminded of, or usually told by that wise arse friend some meaningful quote to either make us feel better, or often worse.  I personally love quotes as they mean two things to me:

  1. Smarter people than me have been in the same situation and survived.
  2. There are often few words which can explain complex feelings, people or situations.

I think point two is mostly lost in that the ‘quotes’ our parents said to us were corny and usually involved some life lesson that we weren’t ready for or mostly did not understand.

“count to ten when you are angry”
“a stitch in time saves nine”
“a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush”

Oh God, the wisdom of our parents can be found, in later life, just when you realise that you did completely the opposite and fucked things up.

But, the real reason I love quotes is that smarter people have been where I am heading, or just been, or plan to go.  Einstein has many quotes which have been my mantras for years – all duly disregarded until after the fact and I repeat them to myself and say “Einstein warned you of this…. and you did it again.”

One quote which has stuck with me for years is:

“Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result.”

I have always loved this quote and espoused it to anyone who would listen, and even those who wouldn’t – why I continued to repeat my mistakes over and over again….  Which in itself indicates to me I am not as smart as I thought I was. (I love the Einstein quote when he was asked what it was like to be the smartest man in the world and he said “I don’t know ask Nicola Tesla.” – even really smart people know there are people smarter than them!)

But, what prompted this little rant this morning is the quote:

“Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted.”

I suppose somehow over the last couple of years this has become a realisation to me.  Things that really counted to me, couldn’t be counted – but, I was counting everything else to gauge my success, wealth and happiness.

I want to think more like Einstein – not in solving the secrets of the universe but in “Not trying to be become a man of success, but by trying to become a man of value – a better man” (bastardised Einstein quote!).

I do have a quotes section on my blog page – but can’t remember the last time I updated it – probably because profound quotes are not the way we think daily but only when giving a speech or when things turn to shit – and as said above it’s usually some smart arse just taking the piss.  Maybe quotes that truely guide our lives should become more of our lives – instead of tattoos of Chinese symbols for love and faith we should have quotes tattooed upon us to remind us, forever, that good choices are actually choices….

So I thought I should finish off with a list of  Einstein quotes, and hope that you find something in them for you – or at least throw one in your kids face next time they stuff up.

1. “The important thing is not to stop questioning. Curiosity has its own reason for existing.” 

2. “Weakness of attitude becomes weakness of character.”

3. “Truth is what stands the test of experience.” 

4. “The only source of knowledge is experience.” 

5. “Any man who reads too much and uses his own brain too little falls into lazy habits of thinking.” 

6. “There comes a time when the mind takes a higher plane of knowledge but can never prove how it got there.” 

7. “We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them.” 

8. “Human beings must have action; and they will make it if they cannot find it.” 

9. “Education is what remains after one has forgotten what one has learned in school.” 

10. “Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow. The important thing is not to stop questioning.” 

11. “Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new.” 

12. “I think and think for months and years. Ninety-nine times, the conclusion is false. The hundredth time I am right.” 

13. “Only a life lived for others is a life worthwhile.”

14. “Imagination is everything. It is the preview of life’s coming attractions.” 

15. “The most incomprehensible thing about the world is that it is comprehensible.” 

16. “To raise new questions, new possibilities, to regard old problems from a new angle, requires creative imagination and marks real advance in science.”

17. “Look deep into nature, and then you will understand everything better.”

18. “Peace cannot be kept by force. It can only be achieved by understanding.” 

19. Life is like riding a bicycle.  To keep your balance you must keep moving.”

20. “Small is the number of people who see with their eyes and think with their minds.” 

21. “There are two ways to live: you can live as if nothing is a miracle; you can live as if everything is a miracle.” 

22. “Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds. The mediocre mind is incapable of understanding the man who refuses to bow blindly to conventional prejudices and chooses instead to express his opinions courageously and honestly.” 

23. “The most beautiful experience we can have is the mysterious. It is the fundamental emotion that stands at the cradle of true art and true science.” 

24. “The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits.” 

25. “Information is not knowledge.” 

26. “It is the supreme art of the teacher to awaken joy in creative expression and knowledge.” 

27. “Imagination is more important than knowledge. For knowledge is limited, whereas imagination embraces the entire world, stimulating progress, giving birth to evolution.”

28. “Without deep reflection one knows from daily life that one exists for other people.”

29. “Try not to become a man of success, but rather try to become a man of value.”

30. “All that is valuable in human society depends upon the opportunity for development accorded the individual.”

31. “No amount of experimentation can ever prove me right; a single experiment can prove me wrong.” 

32. “If you can’t explain it simply, you don’t understand it well enough.” 

33. “You ask me if I keep a notebook to record my great ideas. I’ve only ever had one.” 

34. “The true sign of intelligence is not knowledge but imagination.” 

35. “Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.” 

36. “I have no special talent. I am only passionately curious.”

37. “It’s not that I’m so smart, it’s just that I stay with problems longer.”

38. “The only way to escape the corruptible effect of praise is to go on working.” 

39. “The monotony and solitude of a quiet life stimulates the creative mind.” 

40. “Pure mathematics is, in its way, the poetry of logical ideas.” 

41. “Sometimes one pays most for the things one gets for nothing.”

42. “A man should look for what is, and not for what he thinks should be.” 

43. “Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I’n not sure about the universe.”

44. “Few people are capable of expressing with equanimity opinions which differ from the prejudices of their social environment. Most people are even incapable of forming such opinions.” 

45. “In order to form an immaculate member of a flock of sheep one must, above all, be a sheep.” 

46. “The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.” 

47. “We can’t solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them.” 

48. “I never think of the future. It comes soon enough.” 

49. “The value of a man should be seen in what he gives and not in what he is able to receive.” 

50. “Most teachers waste their time by asking questions that are intended to discover what a pupil does not know, whereas the true art of questioning is to discover what the pupil does know or is capable of knowing.” 

51. “As a human being, one has been endowed with just enough intelligence to be able to see clearly how utterly inadequate that intelligence is when confronted with what exists.”

52. “Once we accept our limits, we go beyond them.” 

53. “I very rarely think in words at all. A thought comes, and I may try to express it in words afterwards.” 

54. “Memory is deceptive because it is colored by today’s events.” 

55. “Whoever is careless with the truth in small matters cannot be trusted with important matters.”

 

 

 

 

 

(I put this last quote picture at the bottom because only older people have the inclination or the perception of time well spent to learn something new the old way – through perseverance ….. )

Better at Knowing How You Feel

“Oh, I know how you feel…”

Really?

Hearing this phrase from well meaning friends, relatives, acquaintances, the girl in the drive through at McDonalds is a way of saying “I heard what you said, but let me either, not really care, pretend to care or tell you about when it happened to me – which of course makes me superior to you and my experience much more meaningful…..”

This platitude of “I know how you feel” is only ever really felt by those who actually have experienced what you are going through and know saying “I know how you feel” is not necessary so they don’t say it – you may catch their eye in that moment of feeling and you know they know – they do’t need to tell you.

Lets take a step back from my rant and talk about why I know that I do not know how you feel…

Firstly I realised and acknowledged to myself that I am not a full functioning alien empath and therefore can not physically, emotionally or even intellectually know how you feel…

Secondly, I can not read minds….

Thirdly, I spent most of my life thinking I knew how everybody felt, and why, and how they could fix it, and I told them how, if they didn’t listen I insisted….

So, my first lesson in knowing how somebodies feels is in acknowledging that I don’t.  The second lesson I learned, albeit the hard way, was that whatever they are feeling, it is their feelings, their way…. and it is not mine to judge that.

It does matter the circumstances, it doesn’t matter the judgement….

“Oh he/she is so strong considering….”
“He/she is so emotional over……”
“What a whinger….”

“Why won’t they talk about it, I’ve offered so many times….”

etc etc etc

Probably said with all the best of intentions (sometimes…) but really just bullshit platitudes to indicate that you don’t know how they feel – and this is probably what confuses you.  And, so many people think they can ‘do something’….

In a hard moment often people will call, or say “If there is anything I can do let me know…”  to which I always reply, “Yes, as a matter of fact there is, can you come around and wash my car / mow my lawn / do my washing etc etc”  As you can imagine you get ‘crickets’ in the conversation or on the other end of the phone….  Mostly, you have to realise that unless you have a time machine, or can bring people back from the dead, there is nothing you can do except be there.  I don’t need new friends in moments of grief, but they will often be the most supportive;  I need my old friends, but they are often the most scarce…  success has a thousand fathers and failure/grief/sadness etc is an orphan…

Sometimes, I think the people that really know how I feel, don’t contact me with the immediacy of action and the ‘can I help syndrome’ – they are the ones that fill my heart with the one line text, the card in the mail (do people still do this other than me…), the quick email that is the true indicator that they may not know how I feel but they remember how they felt when it happened to them….

Look, I don’t know how you feel unless you tell me, and you are probably not going to do that for a while as you are processing it yourself, and maybe will be for the rest of your life.

Look, I don’t know how you feel but you can cry when I am around and not be ashamed or feel weak…
Look, I don’t know how you feel but you can come and hide at my place….
Look, I don’t know how you feel but you can be as illogical with me as you like and I won’t judge….
Look, I don’t know how you feel…. and I won’t mow your lawn or wash your car….

The best of intentions are usually just that; it is like having every intention of doing something… they are actually for you and not the other person – like most things in life when we look at them…. which is usually not because we don’t know how other people feel, but because we don’t think about it in our daily lives and it only becomes a concern in times of hardship, grief or failure….  then it is just a platitude for us, again.

I feel like this post has run it’s course – but you already knew that.

 

 

 

Better at Not Knowing Who I Am….

The other day I heard this great explanation of figuring out who you are;  it starts off as a little bit of a test and the interesting use of the word percieve.

This is a bit of a follow on from a post I wrote the other day about possibly being in a computer simulation (which I suspect may still actually be true!) – the thing about this post was in part, identifying who I actually was.

The dictionary meaning being “become aware or conscious of (something); come to realize or understand”

So here is the exercise about finding who you are…. I will use a car (an ordinary automobile, like the one you drive to work):

  • I am looking at a car (or even driving it, or touching it)
  • I can perceive that car.
  • Am I the car?
  • No.  I am not the car because I can perceive it.
  • I can not be something I can perceive.

You can repeat this exercise around the entire house with all the things you own.  You can even do it with your friends ….. “Am I my best friend, no, because I can perceive my best friend, so I can not be them….”

Now comes the really tricky part of this little exercise.  Stop worrying about all the ‘things’ and people around you and just take a seat and think about you.  Now we are going to repeat the exercise.

  • Am I my body? No.
    Because I can perceive my body.
  • Am I my thoughts?
    No.
    Because I can perceive my thoughts.
  • Am I my emotions?
    No.
    Because I can perceive my emotions.

What the…..!!!!!

What am I.
Who am I.
Who is this all perceiving me.

Good question?

Better the Construct of Myself (Is this The Matrix?)

The start of this post may not make sense to people who have not seen (or understood!) the movie The Matrix – but a lot of people will say the movie can not be understood…. anyway I digress.

To summarise the premise of the movie:

Our lives as we perceive them are computer generated and we are all actually living in a simulation…

That about sums up the Matrix and the rest of the movie and subsequent sequels are about our hero, Neo, trying to get control of the simulation and escape to the ‘real world’.  (The real world in the movie is actually a bit shit and we all live as human batteries in a pod of jelly – but again I digress….)

Part of our hero Neo’s education of him being a ‘slave to the machines’ who run the simulation (The Matrix) is that he goes back into the Matrix to defeat it.  In going back into The Matrix he finds has a certain look, wears certain clothes, has a certain haircut etc etc – all of which turn out to be his ‘construct’ of himself in his mind which is translated into his appearance in The Matrix…..

NB: Apologies but I think my introduction above to this post is as about as complicated as the movie!!!!!

So, our hero Nero lives in the Matrix as a ‘construct’ of what his mind tells him he is…..

Is this sounding a little familiar now?

I think we all live in this world (which the longer I observe could actually be The Matrix and the movie was really a documentary…!!!) as constructs of ourselves.

For me the ‘taking of the blue pill or the red pill’ (for those who haven’t seen the movie the choosing of the pill is the time that our hero decides if he wants to know the truth!) was when I retired from my career after 38 years…..  suddenly I was no longer the ‘construct’ I had made of myself over those years.  For me this was a bit scary as I actually thought this was who I was.

For all of us I think this construct is different, but it is often just the way we think about ourselves as opposed to the way we act.  I was trying to think of a few generic example…

We think we are generous but dont donate to the man in the street…

We think we are good at maths but can’t balance our finances…

We think we are no confrontational yet always appear to be in arguments…

We think the bloke down the street is an idiot yet he appears to be happy and we are always miserable…

I think the problem with our ‘construct’ is that it only relates to the real world in our head, and worse it is only visible as a shit construct to those around us and not ourselves.

One thing that led Neo to discover The Matrix was that everyday he had lived his life, it just, didn’t feel right.

In my pervious career it never just felt right.  The values that I was living, didn’t quite feel right, my interactions with people, mostly didn’t quite feel right (the funny part about this is the best interactions I had with people which I remember vividly today were the ones where upon reflection I didn’t behave in line with my construct)…. mostly, in the last 38 years I feel as if I have been living in The Matrix, walking around in a constructed personality, clothes, attitudes, loves and hates, friends and enemies, values and even dreams and aspirations, which were created outside of me.

A lot of what has happened to me in the past, a lot of what I did and said, was like watching a movie.

So, I wake up – I take the pill that shows me The Matrix is not real and my construct… my construct of me, of who I think I am, who other people think I am…. is in actual fact, basically, bullshit!

Well, let me tell you that realisation is where the fun starts, as perhaps you are left with nothing.  I was lucky.  Still lurking inside me somewhere was me.

I am still trying to find him… and let me tell you 38 years of learned, acted and executed behaviours is something pretty hard to unlearn.

Living now is really living the adage that if it doesn’t ‘feel’ right, even if that feeling can’t be put into a logical train of thought, then it probably isn’t.  I catch myself at least a thousand times a day thinking as the ‘construct’ who is telling me that the person I am trying to find is actually imaginary and get back to the real world and the business at hand…

But, I think there is a trick.

What if the new me is just another construct and I find that I am watching the wrong movie, and it is all just a dream within a dream and Leonardo DiCaprio just appeared from Inception….

Better at Being Grateful (11/21 Gratitude Challenge)

Todays challenge is:

Try to see the world through the eyes of a child.  Think about the things you take for granted on a daily basis, and then express gratitude for everything down to the basic necessities that sustain your life.

Okay this is a good one, because after last nights gratitude for ‘taste’ and the personal swilling frenzy that proceeded, childlike is the best I can do this morning.

Screen Shot 2017-12-12 at 11.28.48Initially I had difficulty in seeing the world at all let alone through the eyes of a child, but I did manage to walk around the house naked and then wee in the garden.  It was at this time that I was certain my head was going to explode so fell asleep on the kitchen table in a high chair – Jo (Mum) then fed me with accompanying aeroplane noises…

I then thought more like a child and crawled up in the foetal position on the lounge for an hour….  I was grateful at this point that I hadn’t died – then again at this particular point death was certainly an option to escape the headache that was feeling like my head was one of those Mattel learning toys where kids try and put different shaped block through the holes…

I slept like a baby – grateful.

I woke up and at sometime during the proceeding two hours it had become afternoon and the approximate temperature in the lounge with no air conditioning and all the doors and windows closed was equivalent to that of lava.  Screen Shot 2017-12-12 at 11.27.33I was worried about having a  childlike fit so stood (okay I sat down) in the shower and plugged the hole with my bum until the level was almost sufficient to drown me…..

I was still hot, so went outside and so stood under the sprinkler for a short time – naked.  Jo said I needed to get over it so got dressed in a Spiderman costume and went to the shops to get an iced coffee – they didn’t appear to notice my outfit.

Why was it getting dark?  Apparently I had missed most of the day.

I supposed when you are being childlike the old adage about ‘when you are young the days are short and the years are long’ applies; today certainly felt like it lasted a year.

I went to be early grateful that I had survived.

 

 

Better at just standing there…..

I was thinking of an old mentor of mine recently – as I do often, because the older I get the more his wisdom just makes sense and is spattered with old sayings from our childhoods that now we understand why our parents kept saying them…

He would often say when approaching an emergency situation:

“Don’t just do something, stand there.”dontjustdosomething2

Of course our first thought is this sentence is the wrong way around.

He would follow up with, stand there and take it all in, it may only be for a moment, a second, half a second, but during that moment let your grey matter do the work….

So you are standing there as calamity reigns… take this moment to ask yourself a few very important questions:

  1. Am I in any danger.
    If the answer is yes then the first thing is get our of that danger.
  2. It’s probably not as bad as it looks.
    If your not in danger, don’t panic and get yourself into danger.
  3. Who is in charge?
    If it appears nobody, then it may very well be you and you better get on with doing the job.

The interesting part of this great advice is firstly remembering it when the shit is hitting the fan; and secondly getting everybody else to stop running around causing more havoc….

My world has changed a bit over the last couple of years and the dangers I face are just not the same (I miss them a bit?).

However, the urge to run in full steam ahead still exists in most things I do.  Often this is easy as the majority of people are usually oblivious to what is happening and the others are filming it to put on YouTube.

As I come across these ‘dangerous’ circumstances in my life I hear and heed the words ‘don’t just do something stand there’ – they are often followed by ‘take a deep breath’ ‘count to 10’ all good advice from previous generations, all ignore by the next.

But lately, it is not so much danger as ‘problems’ I have to deal with – I suppose depending on how you look at it, there is not much difference, only perhaps the increased chances of death versus an undercooked steak being returned to the kitchen.  In making this leap – and it has been a leap –  in dealing with danger versus dealing with problems, I have begun to realise there are in fact no problems.  Yes, there is often danger, and in situations of danger the problem is dealing with fear.  However in day to day life we just love to describe what is happening as a problem.

I am giving that up.

Things are only problems in our head – the reality is that they are just situations that we have failed to accept and as such want to change them into a problem so that we can fix them to being what we consider normal – or as importantly, what we want it to be.

A few examples I have come across lately:

The problem with ‘cold callers.’  Immediately where hear that accented voice, or the conversation starts with ‘you have been randomly selected…’ etc etc.  We can feel our blood pressure rising and the annoyance at this ‘problem’ interrupting our very busy and important day.  Really?  You can just immediately hang up and get on with your day – about 2 seconds of ‘problem’ and it is stopped.  I personally chat with them as I am retired and I ask them more questions about themselves than their products “How are you today” “Where are you calling from” “Are you married” “What sort of car do you drive” – often they just hang up (problem solved) or occasionally I have an interesting conversation with someone who I was randomly selected to have a chat with.  I never buy anything.

The problem of people disagreeing with me.  This is a particular problem as I am almost aways right – but, often so are they.  So, I just let them disagree with me.  I often and easily agree with them and then just go on thinking what I want anyway.  Is there ever a real chance that someone who is addicted to an idea changing that idea because you disagree with them.  Most times by agreeing with them the conversation is over as mostly they just want to argue anyway and it doesn’t matter what it is about.

The problem of not having enough money to buy shit people on the telly tell me I need.  Forget this problem it just makes you hate your life now. If you buy what they tell you to, they will only bring out something next week that they tell you is better.  Unfortunately this is not really my problem, but an epidemic of thought in our modern world – which quite possibly is the biggest problem we have today – which is being dissatisfied.

This list could go on forever, as most of us, most of the time, consider most of our life, a problem.  The fact is that our life is not a problem, the people in it are not a problem, the things in it are not a problem, the things we do or don’t do are not a problem – even you are not the problem….

I am the problem.6360247751176320011373341910_Imtheproblem Flag wide

YES! I hear some of you saying – he finally has realised it.  And you are right. I have actually realised that I am the problem for even considering that things are problems – and often resisting them, fighting against them and/or, trying to fix them…… that IS the real problem.

Yeah, things don’t always go the way I expect – and that is okay.
Yeah, people don’t always act rationally or well – and that is okay

But, sometimes, most times actually, I don’t have to do anything, I just have to stand there.

I have to just stand there, sometimes physically, most times mentally and emotionally …… and accept it.

It’s funny to watch…. myself.  Hearing that little voice saying, oppose it, fight against it, fix it, yell at it, change it, even the arrogance of the voice saying, I can make it better……  and I don’t, I don’t listen to that little voice……   and, nothing actually happens.

The situation (the problem) actually remains the same – but amazingly when unopposed, un-argued, un-fourght, …….. often, it just fades away, or fixes itself.  It only actually ever needed me, for one reason, and that was to become a problem.

It was a situation – I just stood there – I accepted the situation – it still is a situation – nothing really changed except me.

Now, I can act, or not.2017-10 -13 -

But, in doing so, it is ME doing it – not my arrogance, my ego, my learned or instinctive reactions and behaviours, my emotions, not my need to win, not my need to be a hero or even a victim….

To you the difference may be imperceptible – but to me, it is everything – and nothing – it just is.

 

Better the Glass Ceiling (or Floor?)

I was chatting to a friend the other day who works in a professional capacity and she said that she probably wasn’t going to get any further promotions as she had ‘hit the glass glass ceiling…’Screen Shot 2017-08-02 at 09.19.20

Of course, as a man, I responded that as a woman she could have at least brought the Windex and given it a bit of a clean…. (I suppose that comment is one way to
get more hits on this post… and probably a couple in the face!)
So, what is this glass ceiling.  Mr Google had a good definition:

“an unacknowledged barrier to advancement in a profession, especially affecting women and members of minorities”

Yeah, sounds right to me.  So what are some strategies for breaking through this glass ceiling?  Thanks again Mr Google:

Breaking the Glass Ceiling

Original article compliments Mindtools – click here to read full article

Identify the Key Competencies within Your Organisation

  • What are the values of your organization?
  • What behaviors does your company value and reward?
  • What type of person is promoted?

Set Objectives to Align Your Competencies With Top Management

  • Let your boss know that you want to work toward a higher-level position.
  • Ask your boss what skill areas you need to develop.
  • Work together with your boss to set goals and objectives, then monitor and measure your performance.

Build Your Network

  • Reach out to new people on a regular basis.
  • Get involved with cross-functional teams.
  • Expand your professional network outside of your organization. If you can’t break the glass ceiling in your company, you may have to look elsewhere for opportunities.

Find a Mentor

  • Is there someone in upper management you can approach to help you?
  • Will your boss be able to provide mentoring support?
  • Are there people with strong political power who can offer you assistance?

Build Your Reputation

  • Seek high-profile projects.
  • Speak up and contribute in meetings.
  • Share ideas with peers as well as people in higher positions.
  • Identify places where your reputation is not what you want it to be, and develop plans to change them.

Know Your Rights

Finally, watch for discriminatory behavior. Sometimes biases and stereotyping can cross the line into discrimination.

So there you are – SMASH, CRASH and you’re through the glass ceiling!Screen Shot 2017-08-02 at 09.29.09

You have become ‘one of them’….. Yahoo, you are a success!

Why is that such a good thing?  Is it the money?  Is it the power?  Is it just the principle?

Or, are you really one of them?  What does that actually mean?  Is it a good thing?

Why should you have to break through the glass ceiling?  What are the people above the glass ceiling thinking?  What have they got that you haven’t?

Or is the more important question ‘What are they missing that I have but they don’t recognise or appear to want?” – What we really say is “What is wrong with me.”

It has taken me half this post to get to the point.  What is it?  Firstly, there is nothing wrong with you!

This ‘glass barrier’ is being looked at all wrong.  We below want to be those above but in doing so we give up something.  What is it?  We give up all the things that those above have given up to be there.  We give up the knowledge that the barrier exists.

Yes.  Ask anyone above the barrier of its existence.  They say it’s a myth.  Ask the CEO if his organisation has a class, gender, race etc etc barrier and he (or even she) will (unless somehow enlightened!) will say no.  The strength of the glass ceiling is in the denial of its existence by all those above it.

The trick of the ‘glass ceiling’ is that it has taken a long time to create – not years, not decades, but centuries.  It has become for those above it, so normal, that it is unnoticed and beyond their ability to comprehend.

Our roles were assigned long ago.  The interesting and probably most perverse attribute of the ‘glass ceiling’ is that it is no longer just based on gender, race or a myriad of other physical, personal, social, religious, economic or race identifiers, but, on a mindset of entitlement.Screen Shot 2017-08-02 at 09.23.07

Those above have it.  It is not an understanding it is just something that you have.  Those below don’t have it.  They cant understand what it even is that they don’t have.  But, when they break through the ‘glass ceiling’ they suddenly have it, that mindset.  They just get it, they don’t understand it and realise that they don’t have to understand it – as a matter of fact most don’t even realise they don’t realise.

So getting above the glass ceiling is not done by smashing through it from below – because that is not what happens.  You pass through the glass ceiling in a process of osmosis and suddenly you are above it and you are one of them – instantly – and standing on the still intact transparent floor below your feet.

The glass ceiling can not be broken from below.  It must be stamped on by those above who realise that their entitlement is as transparent as the floor.  It is the realisation that those below have talents, attributes, skills, knowledge, ideas, passions etc etc that can make a difference, a positive difference and create mutually beneficial situations for everybody…… it is something that we are all entitled to have, share and benefit from.

But, those above the glass ceiling must give up their entitlement.  Not share it, as that just creates more entitled.  The glass ceiling is not smashed but slid aside by those above and they reach down and lift those from below.

They greet them, welcome them.

They ask them what is their passion and what they want to do to make things better.  They mentor them, guide them, train them, support them, protect them, back them, be honest with them….Screen Shot 2017-08-02 at 09.28.00

And the glass ceiling which is actually made of entitlement and not prejudice is not broken but dissolved.

I wonder what that Board Meeting would look like?

 

 

 

Better at Birthdays (20454 days)

Today is a funny day!

It is my Birthday which is 56 years ago, or more importantly 20,454 days.

Year One

                          Year One

Those are individual days where I got up (albeit the first few where I was as a helpless baby – because I was!), did stuff and then went to bed again….  that is a lot of 24 hour periods to do stuff.

The funny part is, that everyone of those days is now gone, forever.  They are in the past.  They can not be changed.

I have an App on my phone which counts days;  you can set various ‘count downs’ or ‘count froms’ to figure out the exact number of days to any point in time.  I was sitting there some time ago when I thought “I wonder how long I have left.”  I guesstimated that if I live to 85, I would be pretty happy with that.

So…..

10,765 days left

I have about a third of the days left that I have already lived.  A few years ago when I retired I did some similar maths. I worked out I spent about 14,006 days working (not counting days off and sickies!).

I have decided that Birthdays are great reminders, not of how many days we have spent on this earth, but working out how many days we may have left.  Also, the most important question, how we are going to spend them.  Who knows, I may have only 1 day left.  But, if I do, how will I spend it?

I have decided that I will not spend that ONE DAY worrying about the previous 20,454 – I can’t change them.  However, I can change the one I am living now; or if I am lucky the one I will live tomorrow.

Lots of people sent me Birthday wishes, for which I was really grateful.  It reminded me of all the good people I have known, all the good times I have had, but, most of all it reminded me that they are still here, that we all have at least the rest of today, and if we are lucky tomorrow to enjoy.

Don’t all of us lament the fact that we have wasted a few days, perhaps a few years – but, why should that dictate tomorrow.  The old adage that the best indicator of future behaviour is past behaviour….  that’s just bullshit.  I refuse to have my life dictated by a past that can’t be changed. I will not allow it to dictate my future.  This is not just bullshit, that is complete bullshit!

Now!

I will spend the next 10,765 days doing the things that matter the most in my life.  Hopefully I will have a few more days than that.  It has nothing to do with money or possessions (remember, you never see a trailer on a hearse).  It has to do with knowing that this day, can actually be the best day of my life.

Life is really pretty simple.

Something to love, something worthwhile to do, something to look forward to…..

Happy Birthday to me, Happy Today to me, Happy Tomorrow to me!

Better at Dealing with Bullies (nail me to a Cross)

I haven’t got a real way in dealing better with bullies, but felt the need to write about them.

I suppose using the same methodology as ‘Dealing with Dickheads’ may work (click here to read my post Dealing with DickhScreen Shot 2017-04-17 at 8.59.38 AMeads) but bullies are a fairly different category – or are they.

The reason I was thinking about bullies, is that it is Easter Sunday and this is supposed to be a significant moment in the religious calendar – but why?  Is it significant because a man allegedly came back from the dead – or is it a better moment because bullies nailed him to a cross.  Or, is it a more significant moment because throughout history religions have been the biggest bullies.

What do bullies do – they pick on the weak.

What do religions do – they pick the weak and make them slaves….

I’m having problems deciding which is worse.  Is it better to get a quick punch in the face from a bully and hopefully move on – or get sent on a life long guilt trip and never move on.

I have been spending a few Sunday mornings with the Jehovahs Witnesses – they are very nice people.  I am fascinated by their contetion that the Bible is the ‘word’ of God and not the word of man.  I have read their stuff which apparently contains evidence.  Now being an old Detective, it would appear that their understanding of evidence differs from mine.  The evidence I see regarding the Bible is, that it is the worlds most popular book (I haven’t checked if the Harry Potter series knocked it off top spot – if it did, this would be a sadder indictment on humanity than slavery to the Bible) and it falls into a category of books that has changed humanity – for the better, sometimes I think not.

Is the Bible actually the greatest selling bully manual.  Thou shalt not, just about everything, and if thou doth do, thy arse will burn forever.  Not real up lifting stuff.  It has a few good bits and some reasonable instruction on how to get on with thy brother and thy sister (so long as thy brother doth not want to marry another brother) and about being kind to the little children.  But, aren’t these instructions the natural order of things, in that fundamentally, we want to look after each other.   Me, actually thinks not.

I recently read a book (not the Bible) called:

The Unthinkable: Who Survives When Disaster Strikes – and Why

I read this book as I was having a discussion with a mate about the apocalypse…. as per usual.  I said I didn’t believe all these apocalypse movies where the warlords would take over the world and it would be everyman, woman and child for themselves.  So, they said read this book – and I did.

It works out that in a survival situation, if it is ‘everyman for themselves’ the majority of survivors, 90 to 100%, will die.  Yet, in a survival situation where everybody works together, they look after the weak and vulnerable and share resources, between 90 and 100% will survive (for a great example of this read about Shackleton and his arctic expedition).

However, in over 90% of survival situations, it is everyman for themselves – it is almost certain that most will die – yet this is what we choose.

Perhaps human nature is not inherently good…..?

I have been a bully most of my life – mainly because my enemies have been so insipid.  Were are the ‘men’ of today, where are the true Statesmen (read my take on this – click here) where are the ‘saviours’ that get us all to work together so that most of us survive – I think the majority of them get nailed to crosses…

We cut down tall poppies, the virtuous, the good and the generous because we can, because to stand with them is hard, but to run off and look after ourselves is easy – even though by doing so we are almost ensuring our own death.

But of course I’m not one of those people, you are not one of those people….. it is them, or they, or anybody but us.  After all we always give to charity, always let that driver cut in front of us in traffic, let that person in front of us in line, volunteer our time to those that need it, support local causes, world causes, feed the hungry and shelter the homeless – of course we do all of these things.  Bullshit.  It is me for me and don’t get in my way, I’ll get angry, I’ll actually get cross and then nail you to it.

All sounds a bit bleak doesn’t it…. yet, we celebrate the story of a guy getting nailed to a cross and then coming back to life.  We eat some chocolate eggs to celebrate this, we have a few days off work, eat fish on the Friday and chocolate on the Sunday and all drive back home in maddening traffic on the Monday where we don’t let people in and think everybody on the road is an idiot except me.

On Tuesday we don’t think of the guy on the cross anymore, we feel the weight of the chocolate we ate more than the pain of a few nails through the hands.  We listen to the media (the Merchants of Misery) and they tell us the world is the same as before.

The bullies drop bombs on civilians, push over small children in playgrounds and film the entire thing for loading up to Youtube.

So after all that, I haven’t found a way to deal with bullies.  I haven’t found a way to deal with the church or religion.  I haven’t found a way to convince and atheist there is a God or  the believers to relinquish their faith.

Maybe being a better man sometimes is not about finding ways to fix things, but just accepting them.  Maybe the best way to deal with bullies is to ensure that you are not one.

 

Better a Couple of Blokes Pashing…

I really don’t like getting into debates that I don’t think about much.
Screen Shot 2017-03-19 at 9.28.26 AM Don’t get me wrong, I am continuously up for an argument, but most of the time it is for my own enjoyment.

But, this morning I read OUR, yes our, immigration minister Peter Dutton  warned CEO’s to “stick to their knitting”, and said the Turnbull government “would not be bullied” into changing its stance on gay marriage.

Now normally if people ask me what I think of gay marriage, I say, I don’t.

What the fuck has it got to do with me.  Everyone I meet I immediately bring sexuality into the conversation so that I can disclose that I am heterosexual, plus, I find the debate… well…. distasteful.

Not because I think a couple of blokes pashing at the alter is distasteful, but, because if society is more worried about two of its’ members loving each other and wanting to spend their lives together than:

  • Our soldiers dying fighting wars over…. fuck knows what they are over.
  • Aboriginal communities living worse than 3rd world countries.
  • Hunger and kids dying in 3rd world countries.
  • Politicians salaries and honesty.
  • The debate on climate change.
  • The road toll.
  • Domestic violence.
  • etc etc etc etc

… if they are more worried about gay marriage than the list above (which is twice as long as this, no, make that 10 times longer than this) then we are all doomed.

I just don’t get it!  We are allowing, even legislating in favour of things that hurt our society – often hurt our souls unretrievable; yet, we won’t let a couple of people do something that I can’t see hurting anyone.

I’m not going to discuss divorce here – because most times everyone gets hurt some way or another in divorce – but, in a divorce (other than the disgrace of domestic violence) it is usually a civil (both figuratively and legally!) situation with the biggest argument is who gets the house and who gets to turn the kids against the other one.

But, gay marriage – what the fuck!  How can that hurt anyone.

I was chatting to a mate the other day (a bloody Catholic, so I pointed out he was a member of the worlds largest criminal organisation – in jest of course – please don’t sue me Pope Francis!) who I thought was a pretty open and accepting thinker.  He said he believed in gay marriage but (I love the ‘but’ at this point – and not in a gay way!) it should be a civil thing and have nothing to do with the church.  I thought a couple of things at this point:

  • Gay marriage in his view was okay, legally, just don’t tell God about it.
  • Who said he spoke for God, because he was.
  • It was nice that he didn’t take the normal church view of all gays go to hell – or maybe he did and the marriage thing was all a clever ploy so that at the Pearly Gates St Peter already had the documentation to send you straight to hell.
  • It was one of the lesbians we were drinking with turn to shout in the round and her and her partner (wife – well not yet – they had only been together 17 years – which is longer than any of my marriages!) they had wandered over to a booth and were now grinding each other in a mild pawn scene when alI wanted was a beer and to stop trying to convince a Catholic he was wrong.

It all became too much so I started talking about the footy.  Immediately the AFL Womens’ League was brought up so I went for a piss and never came back.

I write what I think here, I write what I want (it’s my blog!), I also try to write what I feel.

I feel, we should stop giving such a fuck, and endlessly debating, stuff that doesn’t hurt the world (your soul is another matter – and completely and rightfully a matter for yourself!) and is so unimportant in comparison to some of the stuff that is going on – but, our lives are drowning is trivial and bullshit.

Please don’t be offended GLTGBDXSH groups (I didn’t know the acronym.  I knew it started with Gay and Lesbian so I randomly pressed keys for the others as I don’t care enough about the acronym for me to even pop of this page and Google it) – it’s not that I don’t care about you, its that I don’t care enough about you in comparison to other things that could kill me tomorrow, or economically destroy me and our country, save a childs’ life, stop another domestic violence death, save a kid from dying in a gutter from drugs or being molested (probably by a Catholic)…..

Come on world, come on straight people, come on gay people (and all the other acronym people), come on Catholics (I withdraw that one – they’re not listening…) come on politicians – more important, come on community and Business leaders….. fucking concentrate, just for a moment on the things that matter.

I hope one day I can go to a proper gay wedding.  I have been to a few ‘pretend’ ones as the law says they are not real – but, do we need the law to say our love and commitment is not pretend – maybe, who knows, I know I don’t.  I know one thing, oppose gay marriage or march down the street in support, either way it doesn’t save one kids from starvation.

I do hope in the future I can go to a legal gay wedding; after all I’m a heterosexual male Australian and I’ll go anywhere for free beer.

PS:  I left the ‘stick to their knitting’ phrase alone in Dutton’s comments as it was just too much to tackle before my first beer of the day – anyone know where there’s a wedding today!

PPS:  This blog may contain a few typos and grammatical errors, but I just couldn’t care enough to proof read this more than once – I’d get my wife to do it, but she’s knitting me a jumper and i don’t want to interrupt her before she cooks my dinner.