Category Archives: Better at Work

When I do things better at work or do a good job

Better at Dealing with Dickheads

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Screen Shot 2015-09-02 at 15.49.22
I try to write my posts about profound and important things, you know, the stuff that fills our heads but often gets overlooked because life gets in the way.

Often, it is not life that gets in the way though, it is the people that seem to be from a different planet…. let’s call them ‘dickheads.’

I have spent my life dealing with dickheads and have even written a previous post about the ‘scientific name’ which is ‘6 percenters’  (Click here to my link about 6 percenters…. or just read on and you’ll get the point.)

Let’s get an analysis of your average dickhead;  I’ll make it simple….

They just get in the way of having a normal day, with normal stuff and a reasonably pleasant journey through the stuff that fills our days.  They are the people that either fuck up the line in the shop or fuck up our entire life… but, the thing is that they are just the same in all aspects of life. Mainly it is just the amount of damage they actually are allowed to create that is different.

I say ‘allowed to create’ as your average dickhead is not measuring their damage but just going about creating it, oblivious to the existence of the rest of us.

You can’t hate them (that just plays into their game). You can’t pity them because you hate them too much.

Lets again look at the average dickhead.  We allow them to be a part of our life.  That is the point.  They want us to say ‘no’ when they ask a question so that they can argue with us; they want us to say ‘yes’ to a question (often a stupid question) so that they can feel empowered by our acquiescence to their stupidity.  You are getting the point, at this point, aren’t you?  You can not reason or negotiate with a dickhead – they are just a dickhead.

It is also important to realise that most dickheads can be identified immediately after you meet them – it is usually through an apology from the person that introduced them, who says “So-and-So is a bit different but you get used to them” – whoop whoop Dickhead alert!  Do not make this parson your friend – even their friends cautioned you about being their friend – were you listening!

I myself may have fallen into this category in the past, but, I have the unfortunate position of now realising it.  When this happens the only time you can be a dickhead is when you allow yourself to fall into the dickhead trap – which of course is not actually believing that you are a dickhead, when you are.

Screen Shot 2015-09-02 at 16.57.35Example: the average dickhead will often have manipulated themselves into a position of authority .  The reason this has happened is that everyone else thought that they were the only one that thought this person was a dickhead  and didn’t want to speak out in the event that everyone else thought they were the dickhead.  Hence the dickheads rule supreme because everyone else who is not a dickhead doesn’t want to be one.  It is like the old catch 22 movie – in that you only realise you are a dickhead when you are not one, and if you are one you never realise you are.

Your average, in authority, dickhead, will often ask a question looking for an argument… they want you to say ‘no’.  DO NOT FALL FOR THIS TRAP!!!   In the event that a dickhead asks you to do something that is often very dickheadish in it’s totality, just say YES.  Okay, I know this sounds stupid, but, just reflect for a moment the reason they asked the question in the first place, which of course was hoping that you would say ‘no’.  By saying ‘yes’, this throws the dickhead modus operandi into complete chaos.  They will often question you more about your positive response to what may even spark in them the realisation that what they are asking you is… well let’s face it… often just fucking stupid.  The trick here is to stay the course… continue to agree and and say ‘yes’ to whatever absurdity they suggest or require of you.  This will often lead to the situation where they will leave, empowered in dickheadologistical self assurance, thinking that you are about to get on with the ridiculous task or request they have just set.

Now, the real empowerment of dealing with dickheads comes to the fore.   It is this.  You just don’t do it.  Yes, you said ‘yes’, and they believe you said ‘yes’ and that is what they heard.  They leave thinking that this thing is to be done.  …and, well you just don’t.  The absolute glory of dealing with this situation is that in the event that they ever come back and ask you if you did this thing, you just say ‘yes’.  If they have evidence that you didn’t do it, you just say sorry… they may yell at you and tell you to do it again… and of course you say ‘yes’, and of course you just don’t do it again.  This circle of request, non action, enquiry, apology, request, no action…has a finite life.  Why?  Well, mainly because the average dickhead has too many things to be a dickhead about to worry about you.

Eventually they will not be getting the required amount of angst to drive their motor.  They, in the end, don’t even go away angry… they just go away.  This may sound too simplistic, but give it a try – of course if you are a dickhead, you will not even understand this and probably write a reply to this post complaining about the grammar or spelling… sorry about that, I will correct it in the second draft.

Okay; one dickhead dealt with – that is the authoritarian dickhead.  What about the subordinate dickhead.  Oh, the glory in this solution is beyond belief.  You just ask them what they want.  Don’t argue with them about what you want (bearing in mind if you do this you run the risk of you becoming a dickhead).  Just ask in the simplest of terms what is it that they want.  Of course this confused them, as it is their one task in life to upset anyone making a request of them… you may get any sort of reply from the outlandish to the immediate submission to your authority.  Of course nothing they say makes any differencScreen Shot 2015-09-02 at 15.52.53e to your next tactic – just give them what they want.  Sound absurd, but think about it.  They are a dickhead and just want to keep asking you for things that you cannot give – so turn the tables on them and ask them what they want.  When they request it, give it to them – dickhead problem solved as they have nothing to argue about.  Of course most times it won’t get to this as merely  asking them what they want will throw them into confusion as what they really want, deep down, it to shit you off and be a dickhead.  Of course later on when it all turns to shit, you just blame them anyway as you used that magnificent get our of gaol free card… delegation.

Dealing with dickheads is only hard if you let them make it hard.

Although the dickhead tactic is to make it appear as if it is all about them, really it is all just about shitting you off and fucking up your day – DO NOT LET THIS HAPPEN!  Follow the simple rules recapped below:

  • Say ‘yes’ to dickhead requests (remember they WANT you to say ‘no’ to argue)
  • Always ask a dickhead what they want and give it to them (this confuses them and will often end in them not doing anything, which is good as they then don’t fuck stuff up)
  • In the event point 1 and 2 fail – just walk away – say nothing, ignore their request to continue the conversation – walk away… slowly, if possible, very slowly; do not look back, do not engage with them.  When you return at some time in the future (10 minutes to 4 hours is usually enough), pretend that it never happened.  If they ask what happened just say you couldn’t stay any longer and leave it at that.  They are confused as there was no confrontation. In the future when you start to turn away they will become afraid and do whatever you want.

Also remember dealing with dickheads should be fun.  Never get angry as this is their fuel. Smiles and the ‘yes’ word are their enemies.

Finally, your average dickhead is only in your life for a short time.  Eventually they go away and you get to tell great stories about how you dealt with them.  I am certain that eventually all dickheads congregate together and just go to meetings (see my recommendations on dealing with meetings here).

Remember, NEVER play their game their way. If you do, you just become a dickhead.

 

Better Two Funerals and a Letter

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I recently went to two funerals – two days in a row!2009-06-09 Me Jo Short Hol 066

I had only heard about each funeral in the morning and changed my day to go to each.  I cancelled my appointments and rescheduled – well, everything I had to do – all the necessary parts of life, that can’t wait, on these days, just had to wait…

Both were Mums. One left this world after a long life and one left this world with a long life
unspent.

The mourners were the family and close friends.  The absent, were the acquaintances, the work colleagues and all the other people that we run around filling our lives with.
I was not there as a part of the families – I was not there as a life long close friend – I was not there for the Mums who we were mourning – I was there for the living.

I was there because the living need the living, to keep them living, when they mourn the dead.  It made me sad.

But, I was prouder than I was sadder.  I was there if needed.  Mostly I was there.

I drove home and watched the world of Mums, and Dads, and friends, and work colleagues, and acquaintances, all still running around filling their lives, because they were the living – it is a world of the living.

This is not the first time I have noticed that the living don’t notice that they are living.  They mourn the dead and then go to the shops.

As we get older there are less of us living who we know: fewer who were with us from the start; until eventually we may be lucky, or unlucky enough to be the last one that you really know – we are there sitting in our chair, watching ‘Days of Our Lives’, pissing our pants and waiting for our relatives to visit who never seem to come – at what stage do we become irrelevant as part of the living but not quiet yet one of the dead.  Does our funeral signify a relief to the living, and perhaps to ourselves – or is it just another occasion for the living to be too busy to attend.

Two funerals are not necessarily better than one.

At one of the funerals the poem “The Dash’ by Linda Ellis was read : which in part says:

….. he noted that first came the date of birth

and spoke the following date with tears,

but he said what mattered most of all

was the dash between the years…..

Screen Shot 2015-08-13 at 17.12.14So even in death, it really is the living that matter.  It probably goes as far to say that it doesn’t really matter how you die, but how you live.  Yeah, it is tragic and sad when someone goes before their time, but when you go, surely that is your time.  It always surprises me, when we are surprised at death, as really, and literally, it is inevitable for all of us – it is just the timing and the length and quality of the dash that are different.

Not going to funerals is however a different thing to not going to just about anything else.  We can visit lots and lots after the first date, and be involved lots of times during the ‘dash’.  But after the second date, the celebration of the second date, that date has nothing after it for the person who’s name is above those dates and the dash.  I suppose it may well not matter because they will never know – only we, the living will.

Two funerals are not necessarily better than one – but one funeral is inevitable for us all, we must attend ; no one else is on the compulsory list, no one else who is a part of the living are required.

Perhaps I go to funerals because it tells me a lot about the living – it tells me that my ‘dash’ is still there and there is yet one date to be written – and as with all, the length of the dash in undetermined, although always inevitable; but, most of all the quality of the dash can be changed in an instant – good or bad.

So, I will attend funerals to celebrate the insertion of the second date for someone else, and the continuation of my ‘dash’.  I may very well shed a tear for the Mum of my friend and the wife of my friend and the friend of my friend.  I may shed that tear for the dead and the living.

I read the ‘memorial card’ – the last letter written for the dead by the living.  The photo and verse that they choose to leave this world with.  That last memento of their ‘dash’ you get to hold in your hand.  And, then they are gone.  They live nowhere else other than in our thoughts – and perhaps more importantly in our deeds – deeds done in their name: deeds such as kindness, charity, fairness, forgiveness and love.  Deeds that start with “what would Mum/Dad/Wife/Husband/Child/Friend do, what would they be proud of me for….”

DSCN2413So, the second date is inserted for another, and the funeral has been, their final letter written and I am on my way to the shops.  I do the stuff that the living do.

I go home where I live my ‘dash’ and collect my mail on the way to the door.

There’s a letter.  Not junk mail, not bills, not a hastily written card for my birthday, not a personalised “To The Householder” envelope, but…. a letter.

It was from my friend, who is part of the living.

I had two funerals and a letter.  They were two long days that now they are over, seem too short.

I read my funeral cards and read my letter – two from the dead and one from the living.  All moments of time I can hold in my hand.

I’ll keep rescheduling and leave the living for a morning or an afternoon to go to farewell the dead.  It is the last date after the dash; it is their last letter that we get to hold.

I’ll also keep writing letters to the living; then when my second date is inserted they can keep that moment to remember our dash.

 

 

 

Better an Avatar

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I just watched the movie “Avatar” (yes, again!) and was fascinated by the phrase “I see you.”Screen Shot 2015-08-03 at 16.34.42

Yes, it is a movie and not real, I understand that.  But, maybe, sometimes movies are Screen Shot 2015-08-03 at 16.34.42reflections of not only the writers impression of the world, or his/her fantasy world but what the world perhaps is, or is not.

What is really meant by those prophetic lines in movies that seem to resonate with us.  I suppose we all have our favourites, but some you just can’t get out of your head; why?

“Carpe diem”
“ET phone home”
“Get busy living, or get busy dying”
“I’ll have what she’s having”
“May the Force be with you”

I remember reading once that a young science fiction writer wrote a story in college about a rocket ship journey into outer space: when he received his result for submitting the story his lecturer praised him about the phallic symbolism of the rocket ship and the deeper meaning of journeys into sexual exploration…. the writer said, he didn’t intend that, it was just a story about people on a rocket ship having an adventure in outer space!

But, all stories come from ‘real people’ which are later transferred into images, in our minds if we are reading it, or on the screen if we are watching it.

So, does the phrase in Avatar, “I see you” reflect what is happening in our world or what is not happening – did the writer here, translate something from the real world to the ‘fantasy’ world of movies and stories, or are all movies and stories really only reflections, often in distorted, or never imagined mirrors.

I think the ” I see you” is what we want in the world.

We want to be seen – not that 15 minutes of fame on the news, or the non reality of a reality TV show and the stardom of sporting super hero will probably elude most of us.

I think we all just want to be seen for who we are.

We want to be seen as someone who is a real person.  Not a number, not unimportant.  someone who may have a story, no matter how small; someone who wants to be happy; someone who most of all doesn’t want to be disregarded.Screen Shot 2015-08-03 at 16.40.38

I once read a very insightful quote (which I will attempt to recite below but can’t remember the reference!):

“I’d rather be hated than disregarded”

Is the world we are in today, a world that is more connected than ever before with mobile phones, the internet, social media and an electronic device humming in our ears and flashing before our eyes constantly; are we actually blind.  Do we actually see each other.

Do we see the people in our lives everyday, or are we one of the people invisible to the world:

Do you see the service station attendant?
Do you see your neighbours?
Do you see the waiter?
Do you see the people behind the papers you shuffle?
Do you even see your own family?
Do you see yourself?

Maybe it is a case of seizing the day, phoning home, getting on with living, experiencing living and having some higher spirituality than a good selfie and the most ‘Likes’ on Facebook.

I see me, I see you.  Let’s get together some time and watch a movie.

 

 

 

“Carpe diem” – Dead Poets Society (1989)
“ET phone home” – The Extra-terrestrial (1982)
“Get busy living, or get busy dying” – The Shawshank Redemption (1994)
“I’ll have what she’s having” – When Harry Met Sally (1989)
“May the Force be with you” – Star Wars (1977)

Better Say it Now….

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I do have a lot more time on my hands lately working towards retirement, and have realised that a lot of what I used to talk about doesn’t appear to matter so much anymore.

I have also noticed that what is important to others, my friends, my work collegues, has just lost it’s urgent and imperative nature.  I have realised that a lot of what we talk about and say really is just the momentum of the rubbish that fills modern day life.

  • Is that report really urgent – or even important.Screen Shot 2015-07-10 at 11.21.59
  • Do we really care about that piece of office politics – does it even touch my life unless I talk about it.
  • Give me that 3 minutes back that I wasted reading that email.
  • Do I need to send that email – especially to confirm a conversation I just had with
    you.
  • I really can’t tolerate listening to you bitch about the same thing you have been bitching about for the last three (or even read 10) years in your job.
  • ….. and of course as I have said before, your ailments may be serious but they are not very interesting.

I wrote once before about the rituals of going to work, or even catching up with relatives and friends and we go through the motions – “Good-day, how are you” – “Fine, and you” – Yeah, great”.  Of course this is all thrown into turmoil when you say “How are you?” and they actually tell you – God, kill me!

Well that’s what I thought.  But, now I have a ‘but’ to my previous reasoning behind that.

Surely, me asking them how they are – even in an automated ritual – and them telling me is important.  It must be more important than the footy scores on the weekend?

Although lately I am watching more footy, not having been a real sports nut in the past, and I think I am beginning to understand – it is good fun, exciting and I now get how yelling at the TV can be very satisfying…  even if I don’t know every players name (who was ever born!) and their entire career and statistical history!  I also just realised that there is a sort of ‘sports spectator elitism’ – I am sure if next time I go to the pub and talk about the footy and can’t recite a blow for blow rendition of the entire game, I am some how tarnished as a ‘pretender’ and just doing it to ‘fit in’ – so I secretly sneak back to being a closet footy supporter and reading classic novels, appreciating art, wearing clothes other than track suits, continue to say Australia instead of Straya, watch the ABC (non footy shows), and have all my own teeth.  I have learned my lesson; so the next time I go to the pub and they ask me about the footy, I say I don’t follow it, they call me a poofta, it’s just easier!

So you are telling me how you really are?  But, I am busy and have to get to that meeting about forming a committee to develop an innovative planning proposal to segway our new Bullshit-Bingo1benchmark process into organisational synergy and value added people friendly systems.

The other day I went to the country town where I grew up as a kid.  In doing some business around town I came across an old school buddy.  I really enjoyed the chat and it was funny how, I think… we still thought about the same things – well sort of, it is a bit hard to explain…..  But, it was a connection, or reconnection, that I really enjoyed and still resonates with me now, a couple of days later.

I felt pretty good after talking to my ‘old mate’ and immediately it popped into my head to tell my Mum about it as she still has a great memory of all the ‘old town’ people……  then…..  I remembered, she died.

It is something that happens, I think, to all of us, that we want to ‘chat’ to someone and realise they are gone – either gone, dead – or gone, not in our lives anymore.

It is a bit sad, but it is sadder that we don’t actually say the things we want to say when they are around.  They are the moments, we all have them, when we are thinking of someone and say “I better give so-and-so a call’ and then life gets in the way (probably that meeting where we are still trying to work out what ‘synergy’ really means) and then the moment is lost and before we know it they may very well be completely lost.

It will always be the conversation we never had.

The other day I rang an old mate to say hello.  There is an amazing thing about mobiles phones, they have been around for a long time nowadays and people take them when they move house; plus there is Facebook and the interwebthing where you can always find someone – I think I have had the same mobile phone number for about 17 years!

So I rang my old mate and we went through the cordial hello’s, how are you (thank God he didn’t tell me!) and then he said “So, how can I help you?” and I said “You can’t, I just rang to say hello to me old mate and to see how you were going”.  There was silence for a moment, and he said, well thanks mate, I really appreciate that, good to here from you.  I then actually, asked him how he was going because I wanted to know!!!  ….. and then he told me, and I was interested, and I listened, and I cared …… and we had a great old chat; old mates talking shit.  Now we finished off that we would catch up for a coffee, and maybe we will, but now it doesn’t matter so much because we said what had to be said, what didn’t have to be said and were glad that it wasn’t too late.  I probably will give him another ring, and probably will catch up for a coffee.

So, if I ring you for no reason, this is probably the reason.  I’m sorry that it might come out of the blue and you may be busy – that’s okay, ring me back after the meeting and I walk out of mine to talk to you – I am actually interested in how you are – I can spare the time, because tomorrow, later, after the silly season, in the holidays, after I get this report finished….., may never come.Screen Shot 2015-07-10 at 11.24.37

So, I will finish with one of my favourite poems.

Sorry if I am repeating anything I have written before – it is just that nowadays,  I am just sitting down and writing as opposed to hyperlinking my life….  each thing that I have to say, I don’t put off, the excuses are only the ones I create…

 

The Indispensable Man

 

Sometimes when you’re feeling important

Sometimes when you’re ego’s in bloom

Sometimes when you take it for granted

You’re the best qualified man in the room

 

Sometimes when you think that your going

Will leave an un-fillable hole

Just follow these simple instructions

And see how it humbles your soul

 

Take a bucket and fill it with water

Put you hand in it up to the wrist

Take it out and the hole that’s remaining

Is a measure of how you’ll be missed

 

You can splash all you like as you enter

You can stir up the water galore

But wait and you’ll see in a moment

It looks just the same as before

 

The moral in this quaint example

Is just do the best that you can

Be proud of yourself and remember

There’s no indispensable man

 

 

Better in the Glory Years

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Screen Shot 2015-07-07 at 11.57.13What is it with old people wanting to either rule the world or tell me about their latest operation.

As I have said before, the ailments of the elderly are often serious but rarely interesting.

Just learn to love your life… now.

What are the glory years.

I think they are between 25 and 45.  That seems like a very short window of opportunity, but it is in that period between I don’t know shit and I don’t give a shit

As an ‘older’ person (50+) surely we have contributed through the hard years, with long hours, innovation, promotions, the hard slog and trying to make a difference in a world where everybody is trying to do the same.  The next generation is coming!  …. and they are coming in their own way.Screen Shot 2015-07-07 at 11.44.18

Just the other day I was sitting at a committee meeting with the same people I have been sitting on that committee with for the last 25 years!  When we all joined the committee we were appalled by the ‘old bastards’ who were doing the job then and slowly pushed them
from the committee so that we could drag it into something worthwhile for our generation. We were young, smarter than them, more motivated than them, and in all honesty got
things done!  I pointed out to the committee members the other day that we are all now ten years older than the ‘old bastards’ were when we pushed them out.  I also reminded them that when they speak to the young people this committee allegedly ‘serves’ – after we have passed on our little gem of knowledge and walked away thinking we have imparted some real wisdom, don’t listen too closely as you will hear “Silly old bastard”
being said.

I just think that the things we do in our life (as with friends) are for reasons and seasons and occasionally, very occasionally for that entire life.Screen Shot 2015-07-07 at 11.37.25

It is similar in that there are jobs (the people you meet as friends on holidays), vocations (the people who love what you do and they love doing it with you) and true passions (the childhood friend who you still hang out with and couldn’t imagine them not being in your life).

It is realising which one you are doing that is important.  I am sure lots of us wake up and realise that we have suddenly found out that the friends we met on holidays are in our life all the time and we are not on holidays anymore and it is just not the same and secretly we wish they would just go away (why did I give them our address!?)

It is the same with the ‘glory years’.  We hang onto them and then suddenly realise (or actually most people don’t realise) that they are over and now you are just the old guy on the committee who talks shit and wont retire!

I was in the pub the other day (a serious part of my post 50 vocation) when I saw a guy who I used to work with and barely recognised him.  No, it wasn’t because he looked old and wanted to tell me about a rash that wouldn’t go away – it was because he looked so good, younger, fitter, healthier, happier.  Why?  He was 9 days (he also told me the hours) until he officially retired from a ‘vocation’ he had been doing for 40 years.  He said it was time to retire and he was moving onto the next part of his life.  He didn’t bitch about his working life but said how great it was and how much he had loved it, but now was the time to go, it wasn’t his world anymore – by the way he was 55!

I know how he feels and am on the cusp of retiring myself.  I am not going away bitter, I am just going away.  Not going out in a blaze of glory, or hanging on as a sad, bitter, pathetic dinosaur – but, slowly stepping out the door, shaking the hands of the ‘friends’ I will never see again, remembering the good times, allowing the bad times to fade and leaving it all in the hands of those like me back them, living the glory years.

Screen Shot 2015-07-07 at 11.40.05POST SCRIPT
I am not dead, just different!  The ending of the glory years are the beginning of something more special.  Spending time with yourself, being in the world and not pushed along buy it.  I am also here if you need me, I have the time to help and the time to talk – not the time to child care and baby sit by the way!  I managed that myself so can you.  It is the time for turning learning into wisdom, if for no one else other than myself.  It is time for noticing the world.  It is a time for peacefulness, spiritualness (that can be anything you want), laughter and remembering.  It is a a time for phone calls to friends or people who you would like to be your friends (not people you met on holidays – or maybe now it is the time for them?).  It is time for phone calls, visits and letters to those who need them.  It is time for thankfulness and forgiveness.

It is the post ‘glory years’ where the real rewards actually are, you just a have to look and stop telling people about your next Doctors appointment!

Better (Best) Daily Mobile Plan

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Yesterday I descovered the BEST daily mobile phone plan ever.  I actually discovered it by accident as I had to go to the northern suburbs to work on our house.

I was half way there when I realised I had left my phone home!

Initially there was a degree of panic:

  • What if I was required urgently – unlikely?Screen shot 2015-03-09 at 11.55.18 AM
  • What if I needed to make an urgent call – really?
  • What if I just wanted to chat with one of my friends – I could do it later?
  • What if my friends wanted to chat with me – they could call back/leave a message?
  • What if I wanted to take a photograph – really?
  • What if I wanted to play a game – really?
  • What if I wanted to immediately look something up on Google – really?

I suddenly realised (through what was genuine initial anxiety and a little flutter in my stomach) that I could probably live through the day (well it was only going to be about 5 hours) without my phone.

I was going to try this new mobile phone plan – not having it with me!

So what happened?

  • I really, really quickly got over the guilt of not having it with me and the hypocrisy of getting shitty with people who forget their phones and I can’t contact them!
  • Several times on the trip there I was not tempted to use my mobile phone while driving.
  • Several times on the way there I looked at the empty place where I put my phone in the car before I realised it wasn’t there.
  • I arrived at the house and realised I would have to mow the lawn without music – I mowed the lawn and ‘experienced’ it…. strange?
  • I  sat down for a break and noticed the street our house was in – our family has owned this house for 54 years!  I saw a tree I hadn’t seen since I was 6 years old.
  • I enjoyed the solitude in the middle of suburbia – disconnected from the electronic world and connected to a normal day doing normal stuff.
  • I packed up and drove home.  I usually fill in this trip (about an hour) ringing friends or family but this time I just drove.  I also had time to consider who was living in my head and who was paying rent to stay there (see Better with Friends for an explanation of who lives in my head).  I switched the radio off.
  • I got home and after about an hour realised I hadn’t checked my phone – so I didn’t.

Maybe the mobile phone plan I had for today (although an accident) was the best value forScreen shot 2015-03-09 at 12.04.54 PM money and time well spent with my phone.  Yeah, I missed it, but I think I got better value for my time.

My phone connects me to everything, yet, yesterday was one of the most connected days I have had for a long time.  I think part of any mobile phone plan should be the days you decide not to have it.  Be brave, leave it home, switch it off…… just one day.

Better with things on wheels

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I just love things on wheels.

No, not big fat muscle cars, but, just stuff that moves around on wheels, in my shed.

I love my shed and I have lots of stuff.  To my wife’s bewilderment, I get more stuff to go with my other stuff.  It is hard to explain why I sometimes need two or three of the
same thing and an array of miss matched and appropriately sorted and labelled screws, nuts, bolts and bits of strange shaped things (some of which I have forgotten the reason I saved them – but I know I will need it tomorrow if I throw it away today!)

So all my stuff fills my shed and often I have to move stuff to get to other stuff.  The answer, have everything on wheels!IMG_7099

I have benches on wheels, seats on wheels, shelves on wheels, lockers on wheels and trollies on wheels to wheel things around that don’t have wheels, yet!

I think it is my knowledge that I am the master of my environment, albeit that it is a 20 x 20 shed,  because of the wheels on my things.

I have decided that there are a few things that must be on wheels to have a productive, safe and happy time in my shed.  Incidentally, this is MY shed and the Occupational Health Safety and Welfare guidelines are what I make them – there will be no ‘Hi-Viz’ vests (see my post on this at Better with Hi-Viz).  Safety will always be trumped by fun, if it is more fun to have something on wheels than it is safe to do so then the wheels must be fitted with all due haste.  Fitting wheels immediately upon a new purchase is imperative however, I do not recommend taking the wheels of your wife’s ‘market trolley’ or small child’s trike as they don’t get it!  In these circumstances, it is just another really good reason to go to Bunnings – because I need a reason!

Okay, so the things that must be on wheels:

  1. A Seat on WheelsIMG_7096
    Mine is an old office chair that I have removed the broken office seat from and replaced it with a stool top.  This allows me to just plonk down on it to either do work on the low bench or the high bench (must have both!) and also to just sit on and have a beer – which is becoming a more regular shed exercise than actually doing work.  This seat of course, being a recycled office chair has adjustable height and most of all, you can scoot around the shed to get stuff (including beer) without actually standing up.
  2. Esky of WheelsIMG_7093
    I have converted an old fridge into my favourite esky (yes I know ‘Esky’ is a brand name but I just hate the word ‘cooler’).  As a result this is a big esky and requires two people to lift it when full but can be wheeled about by one.  Of course having the esky and the above stool on wheels gives you the option of scooting on the stool to the esky or wheeling the esky to you – both fantastic solutions to getting a beer with the minimum of heavy lifting or in fact actually walking.
  3. Tool Box on Wheels
    Well my tool box doesn’t actually have wheels but I have IMG_7102a tool box trolley to wheel my tool boxes around.  This is of course only needed when the ‘shed toolbox’ does not have a tool I need and I have to bring the ‘car toolbox’ into the shed or visa versa.  Plus if you have the tool box on wheels and are using the stool on wheels you can actually do all your jobs again by just scooting around on your stool and having your tool box in tow – and getting beer at the same time.
  4. BBQ on Wheels
    This is not the big BBQ that sits in the back yard with multiple burners, flat plate and wok burner (whatever that is!) but the BBQ that you take to the river, on the family holiday, to the park.  It is also not one of those little round one’s like our Dads had were we had to have three rounds of cooking just to feed the family.  My BBQ has wheels that are to move it from storage to usage.  It is a big flat plate BBQ for doing the IMG_7094sausage sizzle or the morning pancake parade while trying to feed 100s of our own kids and the 100s that always seem to be hanging around (and recently writing things on our shopping list that they would like us to have in our house for them!).  This ‘family BBQ’ is the next generation with a built in table, it’s own set of tools and I have got rid of the annoying little ‘fat cup’ underneath and put in a ‘fat channel’ that  directs all the fat into beer can that you throw away at the end of the day (my Mother would be horrified as this ‘dripping’ was what she cooked all our breakfast eggs in – usually at a depth of about 3 cms!).

I actually can go on and on about things on wheels and how I love my shed – but it is Sunday morning and I am sitting at my computer writing this when I should be having my second cup of coffee in my shed, just standing there, wondering and actually bearing witness to man’s triumph over maintaining serenity and order in a world of hardware and stuff.

So in the future, when you bend to lift that heavy thing, when you have to stand up to get that beer, think about the wonder of wheels on things ……. and go about installing them immediately!

 

 

Better Blog

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It has been just over two years since I started my blog.  In that time I have posted 82 times and put other ‘stuff’ on 22 pages.

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Thanks to the 65 comments I have received.

In total I have had almost 4000 visits with some posts more popular than others – Better with Richie got me my all time daily record of 185 visits! (Thanks Richie! – I hope it got you a date!).

I look back over the last two years posts and realise sometimes I was on a roll and other times, rereading them, I just roll my eyes.  But, I decided toScreen shot 2015-01-13 at 1.36.05 PM leave them all there as I wrote about in Better at Time Machines, as it was what it was, at the time I wrote it.  My first ever post was just three words and some of my latest do have a tendency to ramble a bit!  I think I am learning that writing is a lot like other things, practice, practice, practice – unfortunately in doing this with a blog, all your ‘bad shots’ are recorded along with those ‘winning strokes.’  For me it has also been about actually doing it!  I am sure we all have projects and ideas that we were, or are still going to get around to doing one day and for me this was writing and having a web page blog (not just Facebook posts with pictures of my dinner!).

I also heard that all successful ‘artists’ are prolific, so sitting down everyday and doing something towards your ‘art’ was an imperative step towards being successful – or at least giving it your best shot.

In line with the above it had been my intention to write a blog post everyday for 2015 – but, I noticed that hits to my site were dropping off and I was actually ‘forcing’ posts I was writing instead of writing them with a feverish urgency as I just ‘had to’ record what I was thinking.

So, as much as I want to write more this year, I hope I can write with some quality, entertainment, even fun, and sometimes an important or profound conglomeration of words?

It sometimes feels lonely, scary, embarrassing and exposed to be writing in such a public forum – so, I just want to say I hope you enjoy what I write – and thanks for hanging around.

Of course, all of this is about me working on the one project that never seems to go away, never seems to be finished and the plans are constantly being redrawn – being a better man.

Even if my writing is sometimes not the best – I can still work on being better at it, and, being better at my life.

All a work in progress…….

 

 

 

 

 

 

Better Judgement

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I have spent a lot of my life judging people – unfortunately one of my responsibilities in a previous job was to ‘assess’ people at work – I had to judge them.

How do we do this – how did I do this?Screen shot 2015-01-11 at 11.49.23 AM

I used a ‘behavioural and analytical capabilities’ list of attributes in assessing staff and students.

This was later changed and modified in line with modern (read trendy) ’employability skills’ that were required for a job which was in addition to any technical skills in doing it.  This new method, which I thought was quite fair, involved observed behaviours under a series of headings.  This was supposed to prevent the assessment of ‘he has a bad attitude’ or ‘we didn’t like him/her.’  It was about observable behaviour – or the facts.  (If anyone is interested in me writing about the other 9 employability skills I developed and used – let me know and I will include them in future posts and perhaps make a ‘business reference’ section to my site).

It was also about assessing someone in preparation for how they would behave actually doing the job.  The example I always use it that imagine you have a guy (or girl) who is a skilled, talented carpenter that can make anything with precision – yet, they disrupt the workplace, jack up management, have a tendency to be a bully – and generally can’t get along with people – even to the point it doesn’t mater what the customer ordered they make it their way as that is the best way.  Skilled, yes; do I want to employ them, no; this is the basis of ’employability skills’.  I suppose a lot of businesses now do some form of psychological testing, but in a previous job the psychologist was madder than most of us!

But, the assessment of these ’employability skills’ can not be subjective and must be objective and open to testing and scrutiny – hence, something that is based only on observable, quantifiable, recorded and perhaps even sustained behaviour (after all we are all allowed the occasional bad day – just not involving assaults, guns or death!)

One of the headings under the employability skills I used was Judgement.

The general description was:

This employability skill involves balancing big picture thinking with a focus on the ‘here and now’ ensuring adequate deliberation without delaying decision making, considering the broader impact, achieving compromise, making impartial, informed decisions and using intellect in the decision making process.

These sort of ‘trendy worded’ motherhood statements are of course a great reason to shit-can someone you don’t like – or to promote/employ your mate. The entire paragraph is open to interpretation.

So, with any observable thing you have to be able to record what you observe – plus it is good to know what you are looking for or equally important what they are not doing.

The observable behaviour to indicate good or bad judgement I used were:

  • Understands information which may impact upon long term goals or directions.
  • Pulls together ideas, issues and observations in order to reach a conclusion.
  • Recognises patterns between current data and past situations by observing discrepancies, trends and interrelationships, bringing a fresh approach to recurring problems.
  • Uses sound judgement in selecting a course of action for goals by logically weighing up alternatives.
  • Uses information systems and technology to effectively problem solve.
  • Supports calculated risk taking.
  • Demonstrates a solution focus.
  • Evaluates strengths, accuracy and quality of decisions.
  • Identifies weaknesses of approach, inaccuracy of detail and ineffective decisions.
  • Takes corrective action by identifying a more effective approach, process or outcome.
  • Accepts responsibility and accountability for decisions.

I found that there is nothing better in helping people (read helping them, not shit canning them!) become better at just about any task, than to actually be able to give them examples and explain what they did wrong or more importantly what they did right.

e.g: (using one of the above ‘observable behaviours’)

“John (fictional character), In looking at your performance lately it would appear that you are having some difficulty in making appropriate judgement calls.  In a recent matter things were going off track through no fault of your own, yet it appeared you were not able to take the appropriate corrective actions to solve the problem and work towards a more effective approach.  What can we do to improve you ability to show good judgement in these circumstances in the future”

 

Or (and better – see my post on Better an Appreciative Question)

 

“John (fictional character – not related to the John above who is a bit of a fuck up!), In looking at your performance lately you have made some good judgement calls.  In a recent matter things were going off track through no fault of your own, yet you were able to take the appropriate corrective actions to solve the problem and work towards a more effective approach.  Tell us the process you used for this as I think it is a real attribute you have and could help the company and other employees in the future.”

Of course all the appropriate detail regarding what the ‘problem’ was and the specific observations made should be included.

I think any assessment, judgement of anyone must be a matter of facts.

The old adage of ‘not telling a book by it’s cover’ is easy to agree with but often hard to do, when we first have to get rid of our own prejudices, first impressions, rumours, personal preferences and most of all deciding to treat someone the way we would like to be treated ourselves.

Of course this takes into account that we all can’t be astronauts and some people will only need to learn the phrase “do you want fries with that” to lead a happy and productive life.  But, we have to stop promoting people to their highest level of incompetence – even if they are our friend or a friend of a much higher friend, or their, God forbid, a boy/girl friend of a friend!)  Likewise the person we don’t like may actually be the best person for the job and our only real worry is that their next promotion is actually into our job.

Judgement is about observation and objectivity, not subjectivity and suspicion.

Judgement is also about practicing judgement, learning that we are doing it on facts and observations and nothing else.

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I have previously written in Better at Scams that ‘intiution’ can play a part in the reasons we ‘feel’ that something is right, or in the scam situation wrong; but, is it something we should act on – probably yes, as intuition if used properly, has said to us this needs a bit more looking at – that’s when we seek the facts.  Most times you will find that you were right (or at least something was different to how at first glance it was perceived – the cover of the book always gets us!)
It might be that feeling, that inkling, which makes us think:
– That CV just looks too good…
– I like them, but…
– I don’t like them, why…
This is intuition, working with judgement, not instead of it.
I suppose I am all in favour of the ‘better person’ getting the job, the promotion, the opportunity, but this so often does not seem to be the case.
I also think no-body likes being judged, but there are just circumstances in life where this happens – it is just easier to accept, when we know we have been treated fairly in a way that can be explained to us.
Being the judge or being judged is always a big judgement call –  business is always business, but sometimes it is the better man who realises it is more about the people than positions (or especially the politics).

 

 

Better with Richie

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I have a wonderful wife and a wonderful group of friends (except the ones who ask me to help them do stuff – see Friday’s post – Better at Obligations).

I also have this group of friends who are around my age (early 50’s) who are single.

I just don’t get it.

Yeah, there are a couple of them (both men and women) who I would not wish on my worst enemy or friend – but, the majority are people who I think, why are you single, does the world, or that special individual, know who you really are?

Screen shot 2015-01-05 at 8.07.30 AM

Which gets me to the point of this post; let me tell you about my friend Richie.

Richie is 50 years old, actually has a very good job, owns his own home in the city, cooks and is about the only mate who I let help me with stuff – because Richie is one of those guys who actually (really) know’s stuff.  Plus, every time I spend time with Richie, I learn stuff about him where I go “WTF”.  Just as a bit of an example, I have known Richie for 15 years and learned the following things about him in the last 15 months:

  • Richie’s qualifications are, he is boilermaker welder (though that wasn’t enough so did structural steel enginering – he said he did this as he was interested!), he then wanted to know more, so did degrees in accounting and engineering… but, he was still interested and did Certificate IV’s in metal trade, basic business, crime scene investigation and upholstery (He did this obviously because he was interested!)
  • Richie is a single Dad who looks after his three kids after his wife left him after 22 years because she didn’t want to be married anymore – he gets not maintenance.  One of his kids is autistic – he’s 22 and I think he is a great bloke, like his Dad (and because of his Dad).
  • Richie likes pistol shooting and hunting – but does all his hunting in vermin control with National Parks and Wildlife – and, he also volunteers in helping them out with wildlife surveys and conservation projects.
  • Richie is friendly – he just gets on with people and can have a conversation with anyone.
  • Richie is funny and laughs (genuinely laughs with you not at anyone!).
  • I found out today that Richie went for his pilots licence a few years ago but realised he didn’t have time – Really!!!!
  • Richie helps people (even those that don’t pay him back).

I don’t get it – why aren’t women chasing Richie?

Okay, Richie was married for 22 years and can do with some assistance with his wardrobe (I told him to not wear those sandals – even though they are sold in ‘outdoor’ shops and are supposed to be rugged!).  I also told him to stop appearing so desperate (and I don’t think this is even a fault – but over exuberant – surely that’s not a fault?) – but, he just wants someone to share his unique, interesting, funny, fun, caring, giving life with.

So this post is really about Richie, but it is also about all those good people out there who are looking for love.  When I say love I mean love – I am sure, and know that a lot of my friends in this boat don’t want another ‘special friend’ who says your wonderful – like a brother/sister!  I know before I met my wife I thought I was going to live a pretty lonely life and the best I could hope for was to meet another woman who hates me and give her a house!

But, I think it is out there for all of us – it just has to come at the right time, and we have to be prepared for the surprise appearance and perhaps allowing someone to come into our safe life – we may actually have to take a chance.

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Bearing in mind in todays world, or more to the point the world that the mediathrow at us everyday on the TV, internet and in the newspapers, people are often scared that something is not what it seems and the most likely outcome is that I well get ‘hurt’ – or what the media really want you to think, ripped off, maimed, mutilated, murdered – and of course it will be a catastrophe and devastating – but no problem there is always a ‘hero’, usually a sporting one!

Richie is a better man and continues to be better and better – I am a bit old for mentors, but if I had to have a list of role models and multi-mentors, Richie would get picked up in the first round – just don’t wear those sandals!

Maybe being a better man is knowing there are better men out there and being happy that they are prepared to hang around with you – and perhaps teach you some stuff.