Author Archives: Ian

Better at Telling Lies

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Screen Shot 2015-06-08 at 10.05.17 amWell I have been writing a lot of political and philosophical stuff in the last couple of posts (I even swore in a few and posted one of those on LinkedIn – oh, how naughty to actually print fuck!) and during that time I got to thinking what it must be like to be other people.

I often go on personal empathetic journeys, wondering ‘what would it be like to be….’

So here’s just a few that come to mind:

Bill GatesScreen Shot 2015-06-08 at 10.05.42 am
My thoughts were – when you had more money than you could ever spend, what would be fun any more.  Would it be fun to mess around in your shed, or does fixing the lawn mower get trumped by ‘how will I make my next billion.’  I think Bill walked away from it all and set up his foundation.  Someone said he was trying to buy a Nobel Prize – which I think is fair enough as it is better than trying to buy ‘SnapChat’ – curing world hunger and disease beats a good selfie any day!

Tony AbbottScreen Shot 2015-06-08 at 10.06.15 am
Did he really start out to do what he has done – surely not!  Do any of them from any political side, what makes a man of values and virtue do some of the stuff they do.  Just one question answered Yes or No by any of them would make my day.  Also have you ever thought how they are supposed to know all the stuff the media ask them?

Myuran SukumaranScreen Shot 2015-06-08 at 10.07.49 am
What were those last moments like – knowing what was coming.

Terrorists
Really?  How can you think what you are doing is okay at any level, anywhere…

Nelson MandellaScreen Shot 2015-06-08 at 10.06.48 am
Who was gaoled for being a terrorist – then wasn’t a terrorist when the government changed – then became the government and opposed violence.

My Mum
She’s dead now, but what was it really like.  Was I a selfish, self centred, disregarding, never visiting, take for granted, spoilt child like I think mine are? (PS:  I don’t think my Mum ever told a lie!)Screen Shot 2015-06-08 at 10.08.27 am

My Children
Do my children think they are the same as the above, or that I am hard to deal with, controlling, killjoy, overprotective, guilt mongering, cash tight, old fashioned, fuddy-duddy parent?

The Fucking Arsehole that Just Cut Me Off
Is he/she an arsehole; do they think I am an arsehole?  I am trying to think what I know about them and realise I am actually them… we all are.  Then I realise I know nothing about them – there are just too many of them!

Me
No, really enough about me – what about you – what do you think of me?  What is it really like to be me (or You – I have assessed YOU below).  Do I really know what it is like to be me.  Do I spend a lot of time pretending to be you wondering what it is like to be me – trying to understand me?  Probably not.

You
I don’t think about you much – I am too busy thinking about me and occasionally wondering what you think about me.  Plus you are probably the arsehole that just cut me off.  Or, could it be possible that you could be me, just the same, but not me.

So, now that I proven that I need to up my medication (what with the split personality flipping between me, you and Bill Gates!), but honestly I am getting pretty sick and tired of all the lies.

I wrote yesterday about the Merchants of Misery (the media and advertising) basically telling us that we are rubbish unless we buy some stuff they tell us we should buy.  But, I am equally sick and tired of the lies everywhere that we tell each other and ourselves about each other and ourselves.

I suppose I am especially disturbed about the lies we tell ourselves and am constantly gob smacked how some of those lies we can actually believe….

  • “I did not have sexual relations with that woman….”
  • “There will be no carbon tax under a government….”
  • “We will find the weapons of mass destruction….” (NB: While typing that I made a typo and wrote “weapons of mass distraction”…….!!!)
  • “I’m not fat, stop oppressing me and giving me a false body image…..”
  • “Gay marriage is an important social……” (NB:  Don’t ask me what I think about gay marriage, because I don’t….)
  • “Climate change is…….”
  • “The Cheque is in the mail…..” (NB: Only for those over 40!)
  • “You look great in that……”

Enough of the quotes I am making up or reciting from memory.  I am just sick of the lies…..

  • Politicians not saying Yes or No;
  • Banks lying by omission on hidden fees and charges (but it was in the PDS! – whatever the fuck that is!)
  • Business saying it is okay to spend millions on lunch
  • Public servants saying they are working hard
  • Politicians using the public sector as their election campaign team and pretending it is policy or progress
  • The Police saying there is no traffic quota (and speed cameras are not for revenue raising – really, fucking spare me!)
  • The Merchants of Misery – everything they say
  • Me saying I am giving up smoking
  • My kids saying they didn’t get my text and they are reaaaaaally busy
  • I oppose the death penalty….. hang on what is that shiny thing over there – I oppose that too…..

But, mostly lying to ourselves that I am more important than you: we are more important (and my new LCD TV) than that starving black kid in whatever overseas land on the news right before the story about the Crows getting beaten and that bloody Port Power winning…..

Really, just stop lying.  If you lie and keep telling yourself it is true, or true enough, or it doesn’t matter, then perhaps it doesn’t, because we will be doomed to die a most unfortunate death……

A death,
oblivious to the truth,
oblivious to others,
and the saddest of all…..

…….oblivious to ourselves.

 

 

Better at Original

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I was reading the news the today and realised that there were a lot of new articles and exclusives, even a few revelations…. but I realised that there Screen Shot 2015-06-06 at 13.03.06didn’t appear to be anything original being written.

I also read the other day the media being referred to as the “Merchants of Misery.”

So when you have a group of people who are only providing misery and not even doing it originally you perhaps are receiving your information either from a group of liars or fools.  Either way, the information you are receiving is not a reflection of who you are as a person let alone who we are as a group called society.

I wrote a post called Better than 10% which was another one of my completely unsubstantiated opinions on the world which said that only about 10 percent of everything on the internet was truly original (which incidentally is my true belief therefore it must be true – I wrote another post about this but can’t be stuffed looking it up….).
The best part about the Merchants of Misery is that they are able to tell us on a daily, hourly, minute by minute schedule how we can be truly, truly original and unique.  We just have to buy everything they tell us to, want everything they want us to and most of all, be who they want us to be.  We can even be different and just be the same as the rest, because the Merchants of Misery have told us that we are different….Screen Shot 2015-06-06 at 12.52.41

…… just in passing I love the originality of the Hipster who initially emerged as a unique lifestyle choice and has now been developed by the Merchants of Misery to be cloned beards on yellow jeans wearing, sockless socialites in trendy over priced coffee shops…..

But, each time we strive for originality and uniqueness we are sucked into the Merchants of Misery void of not fitting in – which is contradictory to the original thought of being original.

The scary part of the ‘new original’ is that it is in fact looking for originality in the accumulation of self interest pursuits and power.  The ‘new original’ also requires that the old non original has-beens provided us with all the opportunity to be original that we are obviously entitled to!

I need to think that the ‘new original’ will wake up one morning, unfortunately most probably after retirement, when they realise that there is no legacy only damage, no monuments only devastation, no heroes only broken lives and unemployed youth (of course this is only applicable to the first generation and all following generations don’t have to actually do this as they are born entitled!)

I also need to know that the ‘new original’ will not only leave new catch phrases to segway into their next life but may also enlighten another generation to the futility of the accumulation of power and wealth – all of which we leave behind when we die.

Screen Shot 2015-06-06 at 13.03.55I have decided that the ‘new original’ is in fact the historical dictator in the
sheeps clothing of a corporate leader on a $13 million salary (For fuck sake what could you spend $13 million on a year other than being a fucking selfish, heartless, uncharitable, sightless prick (you obviously can’t see humanity or probably have lost yours) who in actual fact demonstrates no attributes of leadership.

The fact (remember I have said it with no research or qualifications on the subject whatsoever, so it must be a fact!) is that there is really nothing original in what the
Merchants of Misery are selling us; there is no originality in building a corporate empire of power and wealth, there is no uniqueness in going to your grave with a full bank balance and an empty heart.

As I sit here and write this I am thinking about the uniqueness that we all strive for and for some reason often think that we believe it is the differences that lead to our detriment and our eventual success in fitting in that will lead to our success.

Neither are true.  It is just one fact that we have to realise to make a success of ourselves and our lives.Screen Shot 2015-06-06 at 13.01.00

We are an original.

There is only one.

All the copies will only ever be copies – that is, usually the ones we are trying to copy to overcome our complete original existence.

Our originality stares us in the face every day we look in the mirror; yet so often we fail to see it.  What we actually see is the fail.  We forget that we are original, the next second is new and original, the next thing we do has never been done before, our next move is an original move in our original life that will never come by again – just for information the childhood thought that somewhere in the world at any given time there is someone thinking the same thing or doing the same exact thing as you, at exactly the same time, is a statistical impossibility and quite honestly, a unless thought (I worked it our on my Atari 2000 so it must be true!)

I think tomorrow I wont look to the Merchants of Misery to tell me how to be original, to have that original thought, to lead that original life.  Instead I might just stand for a couple of extra minutes in front of the mirror and see the originality of me, as I am now, here, in that moment.

 

 

Better at Meetings

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I have always loved the satirical comment that meetings are the best practical alternative toScreen Shot 2015-05-18 at 9.56.13 am work!

Previously my work meetings were like a national pastime, fun, but rarely productive.

I could go through all the ‘types’ of meetings and the usual business analysis of their productivity and how to improve, but that has been done to death in just about every business journal, self-help book and sage advice from the business expert imaginable.

I suppose the one thing I will agree on is that a meeting to be of any use has to be productive.  Surely the ultimate purpose of any meeting is to actually lead to the production of something….?

The other day I went to the home of a Balinese man for lunch, Wayan. He showed me around his home, which he pointed out was designed in the same configuration of all Balinese homes with sleeping rooms in one position, kitchen and dining room in another and a meeting area in another.Screen Shot 2015-05-18 at 10.12.22 am

He stated that the meeting area was where the family get together at the end of each day to talk about their day and also to air any problems. He said it was important to resolve these things so that the next day was a new day. He said that if any one in the family was unhappy then all were unhappy until they sorted out any problems. He said they always did this because everyone wanted the new day to be a fresh start…. And he looked at me quizzically and said ‘Why wouldn’t you want that?’

Okay, I know since I have been writing my blog posts from Bali I may sound like a chapter in ‘Eat, Pray, Love’ but maybe Julia Roberts and Ketut were onto Screen Shot 2015-05-18 at 10.21.34 amsomething.

I thought about all the meetings I had been to where nothing was resolved and often animosity was they only outcome.

Also in our blended and often complicated family we tried the “Family Team Meeting” which was greeted with moans from the kids and trepidation (and hope) from my wife and I.  Thinking back now about those meetings I realised we did have the best of intentions, but not the best of methodologies (like most other meetings in the world!).  The agenda should have been what our heart was telling us and our outcomes only measured in the happiness of others.  Strangely enough now our kids all love the ‘family dinner’ where there are often 10+ people sitting around our dinner table (no mobile phones rule in force until after) actually talking to each other.  It is one of the most favourite things in my life.

I imagined myself at Wayan’s meeting where everybody there was looking towards the new day and everyone was ready to leave the old one behind. Grievances were left behind, failures were left behind, bridges were mended, caring and love were the key performance indicators.

I have often posted about living NOW: being mindful and not being trapped by the past or afraid of the future.

It is just that when you see these theories being an intimate part of a family, a culture and most of all the values of a person, I sometimes wonder if I really know where MY NOW is. Sometimes the realisation that now is not something you look for but something you have to stop and notice is as profound a realisation as knowing that each one of those moments never comes again.

There was a plaque I saw a few days ago (probably in a tourist shop, but where it was escapes me at the moment…) that said:

Yesterday is ashes
Tomorrow is wood
Only today does the fire burn brightly

Of course I looked it up on Google like you were going to (well, I hope!) and found that it is an old Eskimo Proverb…..

Just a thought, have you realised that the sayings, quotes or verse that inspires you, happens to often come from the simplest of lives.Screen Shot 2015-05-18 at 10.52.07 am

I don’t go to a lot of meetings nowadays and miss them little.  But, I do intend to have a few meetings in the future.

The venue will be home, the participants family, the agenda happiness and the outcome a new day tomorrow.

Better Self Help Books

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I have a book shelf full of ‘self-help books.

I am sitting here in an idyllic setting in Bali, with no books (obviously I have the internet!) thinking about what do all these self-help books actually teach me.

A few have changed the course of my life as I have read them and had that lightScreen Shot 2015-05-16 at 11.02.59 am bulb moment where I have thought, Oh Yeah, how come I never saw that before?  My great example of this is the little book called “Who Moved My Cheese.”  It takes about 45 minutes to read, and when I did, it changed my life when I was 45 years old.

Other books I have highlighted, taken notes, even put up little posters – often to no avail when the moment comes where the books sage advice should have saved me from often repeating the same mistake!

I actually like reading these books as I always think that if I do it enough something must stick!

THE BEST SELF HELP BOOK

I think I found the best self help book.  It actually wasn’t in the bookshelf it was in the bathroom; No! Not the pile of magazines in the toilet!

It was the mirror.

I think some time ago I was reading all these books trying to look for ‘the answer’ not realising it was staring back at me all the time.Photo on 16-05-2015 at 11.21 am (1)

I think I spent to many years looking at someone who wasn’t me.  Whether the mirror was steamed over (anger has a tendency to do that!) or whether I had to many disguises and I never was too sure who that bloke was who was looking back at me.  Also, I think life with all its media expectations, advertising and trends can turn that mirror, or at least our view of it, into the reflection you get from those old fashioned side-show mirrors – it’s a reflection of you, but somehow it is just not right.  Another great way to get the reflection you want, is not to look – I did a lot of that.

Maybe the self-help books helped me to look, or maybe it was just that time, or maybe it was fate, luck, karma….

Irrespective of the reason, once you have seen it, it is hard to un-see.  I would often tell people at work that once you know something you can’t ‘unknown’ it – so do you really want to know – often people wont ask anymore questions.

The one thing about self-help books is that you can put them back in the bookshelf and forget about them.  Strangely enough a lot of the self-help books I have bought have been in second hand and op-shops;  I often wonder if the people who donated them didn’t need them anymore or considering the condition of some of them, if they even actually read them?

But, the best self help book – your reflection you can’t put it way.  Oh, yeah you can stop looking in the mirror, but that is only a part of it.  You are constantly reflected in all the people around you – they are your true mirrors.  Strangely enough it is NOT what they think about you but what you think about them.

Your value, my value, our value, is really about the way we see the world.  It is about the reflection we see.

I haven’t quite worked out my reflection just yet, other than I probably need to get a hair cut!  I know I see someone who wants to be a better man.

I think I will continue to look in the mirror until I can really see.

 

 

Better Budget Forecast

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Today I had to go and pick up our washing from the laundry.

I thought there had been some mistake on the receipt.

(It was only a weeks washing)

We had all our clothes washed, ironed, folded and wrapped in plastic.

I checked the receipt with the young lass at the laundry and apparently it was correct, it was…..

$1.50

By the way we are holidaying in Bali!

I felt bad as upon arrival I was wearing a new shirt and I asked the girl to iron it for me which she did straight way (I was meeting my wife for dinner and trying to impress!), she refused payment to the point of following me out the store with the extra money I had given her for ironing my shirt…. it was 0.20 cents!  I had to leave it on the counter and run away.

I ran for two reasons.  I felt bad that all our laundry for a week had been done for $1.50 and bad that I ever….. read that ever….. complained about……. well just about anything.

THE FEDERAL BUDGET came out today and I read about it on Adelaide Now after I picked up my laundry.  I saw the figures being quoted about what we were spending, what people were getting and what people were missing out on.

I saw we are cutting our aid to Indonesia.  Why!  Well not because the laundry costs are too high!

I love my blog and love that it is about me (remember it is ALL about me!) but I keep finding that we are disappointing me.  Yes, we the people, and yes, we, me!

I am writing more and more about how I am disappointed in…… well, humanity!

Our Federal Budget is not really about anything.  It is about Child Care being $100 dollars an hour for working Mums and unemployment for our kids being their fault.  It is about old men (who are not really that old) getting their laundry done and not knowing who does it let alone how much it costs.  It is about the maintenance of a 5 million dollars house (why would you ‘need’ that) and people dying on our roads due to lack of maintenance.

It is about millions of dollars when 15 thousand rupiah will get a weeks washing done.

It is about knowing your future by the friends you keep.

Tomorrow I am going to dump lunch at the lodge and have a nasi goering with the laundry girl…. my shout!

 

 

Better Road Rules

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A while ago I wrote a post about driving in Bali (see Better Driving or Dancing).

I am now back here and driving again.

The most important road rule here is – patience.

We drove from Seminyak to Ubud which is about 30 kilometres and it took us one and a half hours!  The roads are narrow, often in disrepair,  there are few traffic lights and the traffic is peak hour from 8 am to 9 pm!

I enjoyed this drive more than going to the shops (3 km away) at home in Adelaide.  It is important to note that I am on holidays and as such most of us tend to slow down and take it like it is, but, most of the other people on the roads we having a ‘normal’ day.  So, why did I enjoy the drive?

Because of two things: patience and courtesy.  These are the two main road rules in Bali, and they are contagious.

Just this afternoon in the heart of Ubud at peak hour traffic (remember that is all day) we say a young school girl approach the security guard/parking attendant/greeter at the restaurant we were having coffee at; in typical all over the world school girl fashion pulled on his sleeve to get his attention;  he bent down and she whispered something in his ear.  He then took her by the DSCN2214hand, started blowing his whistle feverishly, flapping his little orange flag about, and walked with her out onto the road, stopping all the traffic so she could get onto her school bus.  All the traffic stopped!  Not one horn was blow, fist waved or abuse hurled.  My wife in her blog talks of ‘moments of joy’ – and perhaps this was one, but more importantly it was the absolute epitome of courtesy, manners, patience and a demonstration of values over rules.

In Australia and most western countries we have so much legislation that we tend to ignore it all – there are no ‘important’ road rules, there are just an enormous list of rules we can get a ticket for!  Remember the Police telling us of the ‘fatal 5’ have not real statistical justification (other than inattention) for these being the 5 offences they choose to target – they are just the most prevalent and cost effective. (I did no, read, NO research into that last statement – prove me wrong- I dare you!)

I should actually do a lot more research in my posts, but can’t want to!

It is always my belief that the main reasons people have car crashes are:

  • Inattention
  • Lack of Experience/Skill
  • Impatience

All of which could be fixed with adequate training.  This training would start at home from birth.  It would consist of a few basic lessons:

  1. Learning that you are not the most important person in the world.
  2. Learning that you are not entitled to anything, you earn it.
  3. Empathy.
  4. Generosity.
  5. Courtesy and manners.
  6. Real life is tangible not electronic.

After about 16 years of training you get to drive a car!

Our driving in Australia is akin to our lives.  We rush recklessly to things that most of the time don’t matter.  In that rush we forget that someone else may be rushing to something that does matter.

We don’t need better road rules we need better drivers.  I am going to start a campaign to make this happen.

I am going to start with me.

 

Better the Dialectic Australian in Bali

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Okay, I know I am on what appears another never ending holiday in Bali, but it gives me time to think…..

The word dialectic is pretty complicated in itself – it means basically a logical argument process where two things can exist at the same time which eventually leads to a conclusion…  at the time that the two initial positions are held (the thesis and the anti-thesis!) both can be correct.  The analysis and problem solving (and perhaps even a bit of appreciative enquiry), lead to the a synthesis, which itself then becomes a thesis or anti-thesis….. and so the process goes on.Screen Shot 2015-05-09 at 11.05.19 am

I think Australians in Bali are a thesis and Australians in Adelaide are an anti-thesis, but the media (fuck I hate the media! – Hate, strong word, hurts my soul more than their sales – so, I will rephrase that…. I think the media influences us to much and we let them…) make us believe that there are not two separate things – two separate Australians who both think they are right, both existing at the same time, in the same person.

So lets play a game.  Bali Day and Adelaide Day!

Bali Day
“Good Morning” (I cant understand this local language) “Salamet.. what the fuck!”  Why don’t they speak english.
Adelaide Day
(Any migrant trying to do anything/any tourist trying to do anything)
“Excuse me (use of some other language)
“What the fuck mate if you’re coming her learn to speak Australian”

 

Bali Day
“Fuck this food is shit and too fucking hot – where can I get a Parmey for fuck sake”
Adelaide Day
“This Halal food is fucking bullshit – where can I get a Parmey for fuck sake”

 

Bali Day
“Please put on a Sari to go into the temple and be modest in public….” “Yeah, right, get fucked I’m on holidays, skull, skull, skull – show us your tits!!!!”
Adelaide Day
“Ban the Burka you fucking terrorist!”

 

Bali Day
“In Bali we respect our elders, our President and each other.  If you offend my friend, my President, my family, you offend me, please apologise”.
Adelaide Day
“Our Prime Minister should go to Jakarta and teach the Indonesian President Bloke a few fucking manners….. How dare they offend us by upholding their laws in their own country, they better not come here and tell us what to do…. yeah….. fuck ’em”

 

Bali Day
“How can I help you”
Adelaide Day
“Are you right?”  (Just pay attention the next time someone serves you)

 

Bali Day
“I will put out my offerings in the morning praying for a good day, health and happiness, for my country, my family and me (in that order)”
Adelaide Day
“I will read the Newspaper, Surf the Internet, Check Facebook, watch the 6 0’clock news and be told what I will be outraged about today – and, I might have a Parmey.”

My last post was about the death penalty and some food for thought.  I don’t think I actually was strong enough about my thoughts on the Indonesian executions.  So, here I go:

IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH ME!!

Stop being outraged against this lawful act by another country, in their own country.  I need you to also read the following:

I DO NOT SUPPORT THE DEATH PENALTY!

Is this ‘dialectic’ thinking: well perhaps?  But, in the end I will not be outraged because the media tell me to.  I will not be outraged because my Government is doing what the media tells it to.  I will not support offending another nation when we would not tolerate such offence (PS:  I can’t member Indonesia tapping Abbotts’ phone!)

I can not condone the withdrawal of our Ambassador from Indonesia when there are so many Australia’s here that may need the help of our own Goverment – in all honesty, “What the….”  I can not condone outrage today for something that there was no outrage for yesterday and none today and there will be none tomorrow.

Read my last post and think about “perspective”.

Bali Day
I love my country
Adelaide Day
I love my country

Better Abolish the Death Penalty – in all ways

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Today two of the ‘Bali 9’ were executed in Indonesia.

Is the current outrage about the death penalty, only about the death penalty for Australian’s – or all citizens, of all countries, in all countries, for all crimes.

Also, and as important, what other two citizens of Australia have done the wrong thing to find the support of the Australian Government (withdrawing our Ambassador?) – two citizens affecting the lives, international relationships, travel safety, trade, the economy of 22 million?

Perspective:
In 2013 – 2400 executions in China (figures are approx as statistic are ‘state secrets’).
In Saudi Arabia, death penalty for adultery, homosexuality.
1153 – number of Australian Citizens killed in road crashes in 2014.
41 Australian soldiers have died in Iraq (42 in Afghanistan) – I stand for mercy (should we bring these boys home?)

Perspective:
Four days ago was Anzac Day and tens of thousands of Australians went out to show their respects – it was all over the media, for weeks/months before, souvenirs were everywhere including On The Run which had bears (?) in Anzac Uniforms – in the last four days in the morning, or at the going down of the sun, have you remembered them – I stand in remembrance.

Perspective:
EVERY week, on average, one Australian woman is killed by a current or former partner – I stand for mercy.

Stop having the media dictate your beliefs, opinions and causes.

  • Donate some money to any Nepal earthquake relief fund.
  • Volunteer at a Nursing Home or to help kids.
  • Pick up rubbish in the street.
  • Drive courteously.
  • Sell all of your TV’s and computers except one of each – donate the money to charity (you still have more that most people in the world).
  • Being overweight is from eating to much.
  • Walk around the supermarket and feel privileged (and a little disgusted) at all the wonderful food we have so easily.
  • Go and visit you Mum/Dad instead of rushing to…… whatever (ask them about when they were young!)

Stop talking about yesterday, learn from it and move on, plan for tomorrow.

If you want to stop the death penalty, do something about it – outrage is not enough – watching the new today and My Kitchen Rules tomorrow, wont really make a difference – where the fuck did I put that Anzac Day Bear?

I do stand for mercy, in all of my life, in all things.

Better Favourite Stories

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I was driving interstate with my wife the other day and we both have a tendancy to chat on our trips together – actually it is one of the best parts.

We both only commented the other day that we are ‘good’ at going away on holidays and as we drive or fly further away we experience what my old mate Des used to describe as he would drive away on holidays with our mate Puck –  “It’s all back there mate, I can feel it all dropping away.”

Often during these trips (and my wife advises me just as regularly in day to day life) I have a tendency to talk a lot and tell stories.  Now the art of story telling, for men anyway, is that the general theme of the story must remain the same but the details are what we would describe as ‘flexible.’  Of course with all stories they are modifiable to any particular audiences, from your children to your grandmothers’ knitting group.

So we were travelling and my wife started to tell a story.  She immediately go into the detail and background.  Our story telling is often like that old Ronny Corbett skit where he would sit in a lounge chair tell a joke but, go off on so many tangents that telling one simple joke would take about 15 minutes – I suppose a lot like my blog posts!  So my wife started to get all animated about this story and I started to recount to her all the details of the story and what it meant to her.  Yes, it was one of those stories she had told me 10 or maybe 20 times before and I think I am at the stage where at a pinch I could retell it and you’d think it happened to me – come to think of it I may have already actually done that.

My wife didn’t seem at all disappointed that I knew the story or that she had told me a dozen times.  She did point out that I actually retell stories to her much more than she does to me but she is nice enough not to point it out to me until I suddenly look over at her and say “I’ve told you this before haven’t I?”

It was then that we had a chat about our story telling and why we do it.  In fact why do we all like stories so much.  If you don’t think that’s true, think about the times you get together with old mates and start talking about the ‘glory days’ – often everybody is animated and it is probably hard to get a word in edgeways.

My wife said to me that it was the telling of the story that gave you back the feelings of the memory.  Of course she was right (aren’t our wives always!).

I do tell stories because I like to entertain people and make them laugh if I can.  But, I also tell stories for me.  They are usually moments in my life which were high on emotion, adventure, drama, danger, even love; or the best of all laughter.  By telling the stories we get to have that moment again.

Of course I am talking about ‘good’ moments not perhaps the ones that haunt us (or people we know) through PTSD or stress – those stories I think and hope will fade and remain in the past.  As Master Bra’Tac said to Teal’c (Sorry these are characters from a science fiction TV series called Stargate – I love science fiction stories!)

“Draw from your past, but do not let your past draw from you”

So, I think I’ll keep telling stories – I will draw from my past and hopefully re-live those moments that have made me who I am; of course modified for appropriate humour and embellished for maximum entertainment.  I still intend to be an interested grandfather, but there is nothing wrong with being interesting as well.

Sorry, that there are no graphics or pictures with this post, but I am away on holidays and I left it all back there, it just all dropped away!

 

Better Plans and Yesterdays

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Yesterday was Easter and I said before Easter that I wasn’t going to be Better at Oblivious…. well, to everything.

But, what happens when you attempt to notice everything, all the glory of the world, all the stuff that you miss day to day, all the stuff that makes noticing worth it….

And….. suddenly….IMG_4828

YOU (Yeah, you)

Get in the way……?

You had a plan, you had an idea, you even had an ideal with that idea – and you, yeah you, got in the way of your own plan, your own idea, your own ideal…..

You got in the way because everyone else got in your way.

You had a plan to be calm in traffic…
But you got on the road with every fuckwit who ever drove a highway…

You had a plan to enjoy the moment…
But every moment was filled with have to; not want to; and definitely not, can’t want to…

You had a plan to have some ‘you’ time…
You, became them, then us, then all of us, then a party, then a place full of people who wouldn’t go home…

You had a plan to sleep in, or wake early and greet the morning sun..
You just slept because you were so fucking tired…

You got in the way because everyone else got in your way, and you let them, you let them live in your head and not pay rent……

and now another day is gone, you didn’t notice it, it just got in the way of all the stuff you had to do that day… which was mainly not letting anything get in your way…… and it did?

What a fucking waste….
Don’t let it happen again….