I don’t want to be a Zombie….
I don’t want to be a conspiracy theorist….

I don’t, didn’t, want the jab…..

Plus, it shits me a bit it has a nickname – The Jab. This is serious stuff. It has been normalised by a great campaign and people rolling their sleeves and looking ‘honestly’ into the camera.

How about we ‘normalise’ all serious matters?

I hate that word ‘normalise’ almost as much as the phrase ‘the new normal’….. and another one “moving forward”….. and ‘two times’ – IT’S TWICE!!!!

How about we change all language to be trendy and woke (I hate that word too!) and start with getting rid of the word ‘rape’ and use ‘struggle snuggle’ instead, so much less harsh; change the “Make a Wish Foundations” name, as it is a bit misleading, to “Make a Wish, Except that One, Foundation”; get rid of endemic normalised sexism in our drink driving advertisements with terrible discriminatory slogans such a “Drink Drive You’re A Selfish Prick’ to ‘Drink Drive You’re a Selfish Prick and/or Bitch and/or Non-Binary Arsehole”…..??

Just saying: not a fan of ‘The Jab’ phraseology.

I’ll say, right up front, that I am a ‘doomsday prepper’.

But, I am an intellectual ‘doomsday prepper.

I watch apocalypse movies and never want for toilet paper. I yell at the screen “NO, NO, NO…. NEVER SPLIT UP!!! DIDN’T YOU WATCH EVERY HORROR MOVIE EVER MADE?!!”

I have some cans of baked beans, just in case! …. and I did once write a little pamphlet called “Ian’s Manifesto for Surviving the Apocalypse’. And, okay, I did give it to all my children…. … and, okay, the ‘manifesto’ was enclosed in their individual ‘Survival Packs’ which I gave them all for Christmas one year….. okay, I do insist that they always carry them in the back of their cars.

And, Okay, last confession: I am writing a novel called “Prepper – My Dad’s Crazy”: and I stuffed up real bad by not finishing it in 2017 when I started it. It is/was, about a Pandemic… yeah, wont be many people writing those stories in the next couple of years.

I watch the ‘Walking Dead’ and can’t believe their biggest challenge is that their hearing is terrible; they never appear to hear the snarling, growling Zombies, until they are less than a metre away.

And, my all time favourite apocalypse movies, are still, the Omega Man and Soylent Green (which is apparently next year?).

But, lately something is wrong…. no, not wrong, but weird.

I make notes during the News when I am not yelling at the TV and intently listening to the ‘local resident’ Jim Bob from Number 37 who said nothing ever happened like that before in their street and he was terrified and it is terrible and horrific and somebody should do something about it (and he obviously has no dentist or dietary plan).

So, I watch stuff, listen to stuff, listen to people and broadcasts and statistics and reassurances from everyone…. including, remarkably the Media (the ‘Merchants of Misery’). When they are on the same side as the Government that really worries me?

And… it’s on the tip of my mind; the face you can see, but can’t remember the name; the place you left your car keys and can’t quite remember where, that sense of ‘deja vue’ about something that hasn’t happened yet; the phone ringing and the person you were just thinking about being the one calling…..

I am certain I right; if I could only think what is was…..

Hopefully, ‘The Jab (Part 2)’ will have the answer.