Category Archives: Better Ideas

Better the Dialectic Australian in Bali

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Okay, I know I am on what appears another never ending holiday in Bali, but it gives me time to think…..

The word dialectic is pretty complicated in itself – it means basically a logical argument process where two things can exist at the same time which eventually leads to a conclusion…  at the time that the two initial positions are held (the thesis and the anti-thesis!) both can be correct.  The analysis and problem solving (and perhaps even a bit of appreciative enquiry), lead to the a synthesis, which itself then becomes a thesis or anti-thesis….. and so the process goes on.Screen Shot 2015-05-09 at 11.05.19 am

I think Australians in Bali are a thesis and Australians in Adelaide are an anti-thesis, but the media (fuck I hate the media! – Hate, strong word, hurts my soul more than their sales – so, I will rephrase that…. I think the media influences us to much and we let them…) make us believe that there are not two separate things – two separate Australians who both think they are right, both existing at the same time, in the same person.

So lets play a game.  Bali Day and Adelaide Day!

Bali Day
“Good Morning” (I cant understand this local language) “Salamet.. what the fuck!”  Why don’t they speak english.
Adelaide Day
(Any migrant trying to do anything/any tourist trying to do anything)
“Excuse me (use of some other language)
“What the fuck mate if you’re coming her learn to speak Australian”

 

Bali Day
“Fuck this food is shit and too fucking hot – where can I get a Parmey for fuck sake”
Adelaide Day
“This Halal food is fucking bullshit – where can I get a Parmey for fuck sake”

 

Bali Day
“Please put on a Sari to go into the temple and be modest in public….” “Yeah, right, get fucked I’m on holidays, skull, skull, skull – show us your tits!!!!”
Adelaide Day
“Ban the Burka you fucking terrorist!”

 

Bali Day
“In Bali we respect our elders, our President and each other.  If you offend my friend, my President, my family, you offend me, please apologise”.
Adelaide Day
“Our Prime Minister should go to Jakarta and teach the Indonesian President Bloke a few fucking manners….. How dare they offend us by upholding their laws in their own country, they better not come here and tell us what to do…. yeah….. fuck ’em”

 

Bali Day
“How can I help you”
Adelaide Day
“Are you right?”  (Just pay attention the next time someone serves you)

 

Bali Day
“I will put out my offerings in the morning praying for a good day, health and happiness, for my country, my family and me (in that order)”
Adelaide Day
“I will read the Newspaper, Surf the Internet, Check Facebook, watch the 6 0’clock news and be told what I will be outraged about today – and, I might have a Parmey.”

My last post was about the death penalty and some food for thought.  I don’t think I actually was strong enough about my thoughts on the Indonesian executions.  So, here I go:

IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH ME!!

Stop being outraged against this lawful act by another country, in their own country.  I need you to also read the following:

I DO NOT SUPPORT THE DEATH PENALTY!

Is this ‘dialectic’ thinking: well perhaps?  But, in the end I will not be outraged because the media tell me to.  I will not be outraged because my Government is doing what the media tells it to.  I will not support offending another nation when we would not tolerate such offence (PS:  I can’t member Indonesia tapping Abbotts’ phone!)

I can not condone the withdrawal of our Ambassador from Indonesia when there are so many Australia’s here that may need the help of our own Goverment – in all honesty, “What the….”  I can not condone outrage today for something that there was no outrage for yesterday and none today and there will be none tomorrow.

Read my last post and think about “perspective”.

Bali Day
I love my country
Adelaide Day
I love my country

Better Abolish the Death Penalty – in all ways

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Today two of the ‘Bali 9’ were executed in Indonesia.

Is the current outrage about the death penalty, only about the death penalty for Australian’s – or all citizens, of all countries, in all countries, for all crimes.

Also, and as important, what other two citizens of Australia have done the wrong thing to find the support of the Australian Government (withdrawing our Ambassador?) – two citizens affecting the lives, international relationships, travel safety, trade, the economy of 22 million?

Perspective:
In 2013 – 2400 executions in China (figures are approx as statistic are ‘state secrets’).
In Saudi Arabia, death penalty for adultery, homosexuality.
1153 – number of Australian Citizens killed in road crashes in 2014.
41 Australian soldiers have died in Iraq (42 in Afghanistan) – I stand for mercy (should we bring these boys home?)

Perspective:
Four days ago was Anzac Day and tens of thousands of Australians went out to show their respects – it was all over the media, for weeks/months before, souvenirs were everywhere including On The Run which had bears (?) in Anzac Uniforms – in the last four days in the morning, or at the going down of the sun, have you remembered them – I stand in remembrance.

Perspective:
EVERY week, on average, one Australian woman is killed by a current or former partner – I stand for mercy.

Stop having the media dictate your beliefs, opinions and causes.

  • Donate some money to any Nepal earthquake relief fund.
  • Volunteer at a Nursing Home or to help kids.
  • Pick up rubbish in the street.
  • Drive courteously.
  • Sell all of your TV’s and computers except one of each – donate the money to charity (you still have more that most people in the world).
  • Being overweight is from eating to much.
  • Walk around the supermarket and feel privileged (and a little disgusted) at all the wonderful food we have so easily.
  • Go and visit you Mum/Dad instead of rushing to…… whatever (ask them about when they were young!)

Stop talking about yesterday, learn from it and move on, plan for tomorrow.

If you want to stop the death penalty, do something about it – outrage is not enough – watching the new today and My Kitchen Rules tomorrow, wont really make a difference – where the fuck did I put that Anzac Day Bear?

I do stand for mercy, in all of my life, in all things.

Better Plans and Yesterdays

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Yesterday was Easter and I said before Easter that I wasn’t going to be Better at Oblivious…. well, to everything.

But, what happens when you attempt to notice everything, all the glory of the world, all the stuff that you miss day to day, all the stuff that makes noticing worth it….

And….. suddenly….IMG_4828

YOU (Yeah, you)

Get in the way……?

You had a plan, you had an idea, you even had an ideal with that idea – and you, yeah you, got in the way of your own plan, your own idea, your own ideal…..

You got in the way because everyone else got in your way.

You had a plan to be calm in traffic…
But you got on the road with every fuckwit who ever drove a highway…

You had a plan to enjoy the moment…
But every moment was filled with have to; not want to; and definitely not, can’t want to…

You had a plan to have some ‘you’ time…
You, became them, then us, then all of us, then a party, then a place full of people who wouldn’t go home…

You had a plan to sleep in, or wake early and greet the morning sun..
You just slept because you were so fucking tired…

You got in the way because everyone else got in your way, and you let them, you let them live in your head and not pay rent……

and now another day is gone, you didn’t notice it, it just got in the way of all the stuff you had to do that day… which was mainly not letting anything get in your way…… and it did?

What a fucking waste….
Don’t let it happen again….

 

 

Better (Best) Daily Mobile Plan

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Yesterday I descovered the BEST daily mobile phone plan ever.  I actually discovered it by accident as I had to go to the northern suburbs to work on our house.

I was half way there when I realised I had left my phone home!

Initially there was a degree of panic:

  • What if I was required urgently – unlikely?Screen shot 2015-03-09 at 11.55.18 AM
  • What if I needed to make an urgent call – really?
  • What if I just wanted to chat with one of my friends – I could do it later?
  • What if my friends wanted to chat with me – they could call back/leave a message?
  • What if I wanted to take a photograph – really?
  • What if I wanted to play a game – really?
  • What if I wanted to immediately look something up on Google – really?

I suddenly realised (through what was genuine initial anxiety and a little flutter in my stomach) that I could probably live through the day (well it was only going to be about 5 hours) without my phone.

I was going to try this new mobile phone plan – not having it with me!

So what happened?

  • I really, really quickly got over the guilt of not having it with me and the hypocrisy of getting shitty with people who forget their phones and I can’t contact them!
  • Several times on the trip there I was not tempted to use my mobile phone while driving.
  • Several times on the way there I looked at the empty place where I put my phone in the car before I realised it wasn’t there.
  • I arrived at the house and realised I would have to mow the lawn without music – I mowed the lawn and ‘experienced’ it…. strange?
  • I  sat down for a break and noticed the street our house was in – our family has owned this house for 54 years!  I saw a tree I hadn’t seen since I was 6 years old.
  • I enjoyed the solitude in the middle of suburbia – disconnected from the electronic world and connected to a normal day doing normal stuff.
  • I packed up and drove home.  I usually fill in this trip (about an hour) ringing friends or family but this time I just drove.  I also had time to consider who was living in my head and who was paying rent to stay there (see Better with Friends for an explanation of who lives in my head).  I switched the radio off.
  • I got home and after about an hour realised I hadn’t checked my phone – so I didn’t.

Maybe the mobile phone plan I had for today (although an accident) was the best value forScreen shot 2015-03-09 at 12.04.54 PM money and time well spent with my phone.  Yeah, I missed it, but I think I got better value for my time.

My phone connects me to everything, yet, yesterday was one of the most connected days I have had for a long time.  I think part of any mobile phone plan should be the days you decide not to have it.  Be brave, leave it home, switch it off…… just one day.

Better at Parties

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I have just returned home from an afternoon birthday party for a mate.  Last night we went to a birthday party for another friend.

Screen shot 2015-02-07 at 9.46.04 AM

Each time I came home I realised that I am enjoying parties more, when traditionally they were often an ‘obligation’ or a piss fest for dubious reasons.

Why?

Well I suppose it has something to do with the parties I am now being invited to.  This incidentally was a subject of a conversation at both the recent parties that I have attended.

As you may have guessed from my other posts (or the fact that you know me) I am a 53 year old, technically double divorcee, making a great life with my wonderful wife and our complicated and often confusing blended lives.

Screen Shot 2015-02-01 at 4.23.45 pm

Well, at these parties we are often lamenting (sorry, but I love the word lamenting!) our life experience and position in the evolutionary chain where we are now getting invited to funerals, 50+ birthdays or the birthdays of our children; often 21st’s where we either supply the food or the money, and leave early!

Happy_Anniversary_05

So why at this stage of my life am I ‘better at parties’.

I think the reason is that historically (read – ‘when I was under 30’) parties were supposed to be fun and we would have fun at any cost, even if we were not having fun.  The party of the year could not be missed even if there were another 20 parties of the year that had to be attended in that week!

And, now, parties are something that I go to because I/we are invited because of what I/we bring, other than a present.
And, the presents are often a hand made card, with old photos, and something that was baked or made for the specific purpose of giving it to my friend.
And, leaving early is something that is accepted because we all have real lives
And, we attended because it meant something to us
And, we attended because it meant something to them
And, we felt welcome
And, we laughed (that big belly laugh that only comes with being with real friends)
And, we talk to everyone at the party because they were just like us

And (most of all), even if you left early or were the last to leave, all they way home you chatted about what a good time you had, and how the people were nice, and even though you have enough friends you were now glad that you got to meet new and different people, and how you laughed, and how you were going to ring so-and-so because they seemed a little sad, and you thought you might catch up for a coffee, and how you so, so, so, so much appreciated being at that party.

I am better at parties because the parties are better.

Yeah, it took a little longer than I thought (maybe 30 or so years) to get around to knowing which parties were the best and also organising the parties that were the best.

But, now the only parties I go to, or the only parties I organise are the ones that actually use the excuse of a birthday, an anniversary or even a death to be with the people that add to my life.  The best parties are the ones that celebrate the getting together of people to do nothing other than be with each other; yeah, we celebrate the ‘occassion’ but really it is about the people, and I suppose the word is the ‘fellowship’.

We have an annual ‘Boxing Day’ party, which is basically an open house the day after Christmas for everyone to relax and ‘get over’ Christmas day.  We have been having them for about 6 years and every year is quite Screen shot 2015-02-07 at 10.02.44 AMdifferent.  Some are large, others just small gatherings.  But, they are usually a eclectic collection of our friends from the different spheres of our lives.  Some come all day, some just pop in.  We know everyone and the atmosphere encourages everyone to get to know everyone; this is not a ‘high maintenance guests’ party, and mostly we get to relax as well.  I suppose it is because everyone who comes, actually wants to come as it is an ‘open house’ which I suppose pivots around us, bringing our friends together in doing something easy, in a relaxing and peaceful way.

This is something I take to other peoples parties.  I am there because of the host – it is their party and their friends, some or none of who I may know, but I have been thought of enough to get invited.  I think, therefore if I go, I do not want to be a ‘high maintenance guest!’  I want to add to their party as I hope I add to their life.

When my wife and I got married we only invited people who added to our life.  A few people were surprised at their invites and a few were horrified they weren’t.  We only invited people who added to our lives (no-one was invited out of obligation or just for being a relative!) – so they added to our party/reception and it was a real celebration, with real friends.  One of the people I didn’t invite but worked with everyday for years got a bit miffed and eventually asked me why they hadn’t been invited and I asked them a question – “What does my lounge room look like?” – and they couldn’t answer; in 20 years of working together we had never been to each others houses and only ‘associated’ at work.  I do not work there anymore and have not heard from the person I used to talk to on the phone and see everyday for 20 years, since the day I left…! I don’t miss them.

I want to finish this post now, as it says all I want to really say.  But, and there is is always a but in my posts.  I think I need to share the experiences of my parties, both attended and hosted, that can be quantified in a list.

So, here is my list of ‘hints’ for having or going to a great party.

  1. A good party is one you share with people who add to your life.  This is not people who are in your life everyday – add, means add.  No invitation should ever be sent or accepted through obligation (see my post Better at Obligations)
  2. Actually RSVP  – not 5 minutes before to say sorry but Screen shot 2015-02-07 at 9.42.48 AMyou can’t make is as the kids are sick/baby sitter cancelled/had to work – we all know it’s bullshit – have the guts to say no!
  3. Generosity in time in preparing or attending is noticed and reciprocated.
  4. The start time is a real indicator of the time that the party actually starts.  Arriving late is just rude (see my post on Better with the ONLY commodity)
  5. Leaving is the time it is supposed to be for you or them.
  6. Stories and listening are equally important – do both, about the same.
  7. Say hello to everyone and say goodbye to those you can.
  8. Send thank you notes.
  9. Bring lots and leave it all – take the last of the cake if offered.
  10. If you organise the next one before the end of this one, actually organise it.

I’m not to sure if I am better at parties or if the parties are better – either way, the party of the year is usually the one you least expect.

Better Blog

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It has been just over two years since I started my blog.  In that time I have posted 82 times and put other ‘stuff’ on 22 pages.

Screen shot 2015-01-13 at 1.38.29 PM

Thanks to the 65 comments I have received.

In total I have had almost 4000 visits with some posts more popular than others – Better with Richie got me my all time daily record of 185 visits! (Thanks Richie! – I hope it got you a date!).

I look back over the last two years posts and realise sometimes I was on a roll and other times, rereading them, I just roll my eyes.  But, I decided toScreen shot 2015-01-13 at 1.36.05 PM leave them all there as I wrote about in Better at Time Machines, as it was what it was, at the time I wrote it.  My first ever post was just three words and some of my latest do have a tendency to ramble a bit!  I think I am learning that writing is a lot like other things, practice, practice, practice – unfortunately in doing this with a blog, all your ‘bad shots’ are recorded along with those ‘winning strokes.’  For me it has also been about actually doing it!  I am sure we all have projects and ideas that we were, or are still going to get around to doing one day and for me this was writing and having a web page blog (not just Facebook posts with pictures of my dinner!).

I also heard that all successful ‘artists’ are prolific, so sitting down everyday and doing something towards your ‘art’ was an imperative step towards being successful – or at least giving it your best shot.

In line with the above it had been my intention to write a blog post everyday for 2015 – but, I noticed that hits to my site were dropping off and I was actually ‘forcing’ posts I was writing instead of writing them with a feverish urgency as I just ‘had to’ record what I was thinking.

So, as much as I want to write more this year, I hope I can write with some quality, entertainment, even fun, and sometimes an important or profound conglomeration of words?

It sometimes feels lonely, scary, embarrassing and exposed to be writing in such a public forum – so, I just want to say I hope you enjoy what I write – and thanks for hanging around.

Of course, all of this is about me working on the one project that never seems to go away, never seems to be finished and the plans are constantly being redrawn – being a better man.

Even if my writing is sometimes not the best – I can still work on being better at it, and, being better at my life.

All a work in progress…….

 

 

 

 

 

 

Better Judgement

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I have spent a lot of my life judging people – unfortunately one of my responsibilities in a previous job was to ‘assess’ people at work – I had to judge them.

How do we do this – how did I do this?Screen shot 2015-01-11 at 11.49.23 AM

I used a ‘behavioural and analytical capabilities’ list of attributes in assessing staff and students.

This was later changed and modified in line with modern (read trendy) ’employability skills’ that were required for a job which was in addition to any technical skills in doing it.  This new method, which I thought was quite fair, involved observed behaviours under a series of headings.  This was supposed to prevent the assessment of ‘he has a bad attitude’ or ‘we didn’t like him/her.’  It was about observable behaviour – or the facts.  (If anyone is interested in me writing about the other 9 employability skills I developed and used – let me know and I will include them in future posts and perhaps make a ‘business reference’ section to my site).

It was also about assessing someone in preparation for how they would behave actually doing the job.  The example I always use it that imagine you have a guy (or girl) who is a skilled, talented carpenter that can make anything with precision – yet, they disrupt the workplace, jack up management, have a tendency to be a bully – and generally can’t get along with people – even to the point it doesn’t mater what the customer ordered they make it their way as that is the best way.  Skilled, yes; do I want to employ them, no; this is the basis of ’employability skills’.  I suppose a lot of businesses now do some form of psychological testing, but in a previous job the psychologist was madder than most of us!

But, the assessment of these ’employability skills’ can not be subjective and must be objective and open to testing and scrutiny – hence, something that is based only on observable, quantifiable, recorded and perhaps even sustained behaviour (after all we are all allowed the occasional bad day – just not involving assaults, guns or death!)

One of the headings under the employability skills I used was Judgement.

The general description was:

This employability skill involves balancing big picture thinking with a focus on the ‘here and now’ ensuring adequate deliberation without delaying decision making, considering the broader impact, achieving compromise, making impartial, informed decisions and using intellect in the decision making process.

These sort of ‘trendy worded’ motherhood statements are of course a great reason to shit-can someone you don’t like – or to promote/employ your mate. The entire paragraph is open to interpretation.

So, with any observable thing you have to be able to record what you observe – plus it is good to know what you are looking for or equally important what they are not doing.

The observable behaviour to indicate good or bad judgement I used were:

  • Understands information which may impact upon long term goals or directions.
  • Pulls together ideas, issues and observations in order to reach a conclusion.
  • Recognises patterns between current data and past situations by observing discrepancies, trends and interrelationships, bringing a fresh approach to recurring problems.
  • Uses sound judgement in selecting a course of action for goals by logically weighing up alternatives.
  • Uses information systems and technology to effectively problem solve.
  • Supports calculated risk taking.
  • Demonstrates a solution focus.
  • Evaluates strengths, accuracy and quality of decisions.
  • Identifies weaknesses of approach, inaccuracy of detail and ineffective decisions.
  • Takes corrective action by identifying a more effective approach, process or outcome.
  • Accepts responsibility and accountability for decisions.

I found that there is nothing better in helping people (read helping them, not shit canning them!) become better at just about any task, than to actually be able to give them examples and explain what they did wrong or more importantly what they did right.

e.g: (using one of the above ‘observable behaviours’)

“John (fictional character), In looking at your performance lately it would appear that you are having some difficulty in making appropriate judgement calls.  In a recent matter things were going off track through no fault of your own, yet it appeared you were not able to take the appropriate corrective actions to solve the problem and work towards a more effective approach.  What can we do to improve you ability to show good judgement in these circumstances in the future”

 

Or (and better – see my post on Better an Appreciative Question)

 

“John (fictional character – not related to the John above who is a bit of a fuck up!), In looking at your performance lately you have made some good judgement calls.  In a recent matter things were going off track through no fault of your own, yet you were able to take the appropriate corrective actions to solve the problem and work towards a more effective approach.  Tell us the process you used for this as I think it is a real attribute you have and could help the company and other employees in the future.”

Of course all the appropriate detail regarding what the ‘problem’ was and the specific observations made should be included.

I think any assessment, judgement of anyone must be a matter of facts.

The old adage of ‘not telling a book by it’s cover’ is easy to agree with but often hard to do, when we first have to get rid of our own prejudices, first impressions, rumours, personal preferences and most of all deciding to treat someone the way we would like to be treated ourselves.

Of course this takes into account that we all can’t be astronauts and some people will only need to learn the phrase “do you want fries with that” to lead a happy and productive life.  But, we have to stop promoting people to their highest level of incompetence – even if they are our friend or a friend of a much higher friend, or their, God forbid, a boy/girl friend of a friend!)  Likewise the person we don’t like may actually be the best person for the job and our only real worry is that their next promotion is actually into our job.

Judgement is about observation and objectivity, not subjectivity and suspicion.

Judgement is also about practicing judgement, learning that we are doing it on facts and observations and nothing else.

Screen shot 2015-01-07 at 6.58.46 PM

I have previously written in Better at Scams that ‘intiution’ can play a part in the reasons we ‘feel’ that something is right, or in the scam situation wrong; but, is it something we should act on – probably yes, as intuition if used properly, has said to us this needs a bit more looking at – that’s when we seek the facts.  Most times you will find that you were right (or at least something was different to how at first glance it was perceived – the cover of the book always gets us!)
It might be that feeling, that inkling, which makes us think:
– That CV just looks too good…
– I like them, but…
– I don’t like them, why…
This is intuition, working with judgement, not instead of it.
I suppose I am all in favour of the ‘better person’ getting the job, the promotion, the opportunity, but this so often does not seem to be the case.
I also think no-body likes being judged, but there are just circumstances in life where this happens – it is just easier to accept, when we know we have been treated fairly in a way that can be explained to us.
Being the judge or being judged is always a big judgement call –  business is always business, but sometimes it is the better man who realises it is more about the people than positions (or especially the politics).

 

 

Better – Yes? – No?

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Okay, enough is enough.

What am I talking about – well, yes, no.  How can you start a sentence with a positive and a negative. (Yeah, Narr, also counts!)images-1

I am sorry that I brought this to your attention, because now you can’t ‘unknow” it.   I hope it drives you as crazy as it does me – and if you do it, can you stop, please!

At least it replaced the answer “pretty much” – which was also neither Yes or No.

Because, you know, like, it, like, was just as, like, you know, like, annoying!

PS: I used to say ‘here’s the thing’ a lot at the beginning of sentences – sorry – I am better now.

 

Better in The Whole World

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images

YOUR WORLD

 

“Take any opportunity to live overseas or at least interstate.  This is not going on a holiday but living there.  Learn to be independent: enjoy your own company: miss home (and cherish it every time you return – hug your Mum). Experience another culture: eat their food; speak their language.  Make friends with the world, the people in it, but mainly with yourself.  Love the diversity of the world and appreciate it vastness; don’t feel small, feel a part of it.”

I wrote the above as ‘advice to my past self” hoping that it would be advice to my kids – this is the first time they may actually read it, except that they are not yet old enough to bother caring about what we parents actually do in our lives.

This piece of advice to me is because now, as I am older, I realised that the world is just out there waiting; but, being older the hills are steeper, the treks longer, the plane flights torture, my medication constantly gets me strip searched at airports and I don’t look so good in a swim suit anymore.  Yeah, I do now have the money and time to do it, but one commodity is finite and the other doesn’t matter – I just hope I spend both to the max!

I think there are seasons for travelling in your life – one season is over for me but another is about to start.

Another short post as the above really already says what I want to say.

My world, your world, our world – is being a better man, just the process of realising this.

Better with Richie

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I have a wonderful wife and a wonderful group of friends (except the ones who ask me to help them do stuff – see Friday’s post – Better at Obligations).

I also have this group of friends who are around my age (early 50’s) who are single.

I just don’t get it.

Yeah, there are a couple of them (both men and women) who I would not wish on my worst enemy or friend – but, the majority are people who I think, why are you single, does the world, or that special individual, know who you really are?

Screen shot 2015-01-05 at 8.07.30 AM

Which gets me to the point of this post; let me tell you about my friend Richie.

Richie is 50 years old, actually has a very good job, owns his own home in the city, cooks and is about the only mate who I let help me with stuff – because Richie is one of those guys who actually (really) know’s stuff.  Plus, every time I spend time with Richie, I learn stuff about him where I go “WTF”.  Just as a bit of an example, I have known Richie for 15 years and learned the following things about him in the last 15 months:

  • Richie’s qualifications are, he is boilermaker welder (though that wasn’t enough so did structural steel enginering – he said he did this as he was interested!), he then wanted to know more, so did degrees in accounting and engineering… but, he was still interested and did Certificate IV’s in metal trade, basic business, crime scene investigation and upholstery (He did this obviously because he was interested!)
  • Richie is a single Dad who looks after his three kids after his wife left him after 22 years because she didn’t want to be married anymore – he gets not maintenance.  One of his kids is autistic – he’s 22 and I think he is a great bloke, like his Dad (and because of his Dad).
  • Richie likes pistol shooting and hunting – but does all his hunting in vermin control with National Parks and Wildlife – and, he also volunteers in helping them out with wildlife surveys and conservation projects.
  • Richie is friendly – he just gets on with people and can have a conversation with anyone.
  • Richie is funny and laughs (genuinely laughs with you not at anyone!).
  • I found out today that Richie went for his pilots licence a few years ago but realised he didn’t have time – Really!!!!
  • Richie helps people (even those that don’t pay him back).

I don’t get it – why aren’t women chasing Richie?

Okay, Richie was married for 22 years and can do with some assistance with his wardrobe (I told him to not wear those sandals – even though they are sold in ‘outdoor’ shops and are supposed to be rugged!).  I also told him to stop appearing so desperate (and I don’t think this is even a fault – but over exuberant – surely that’s not a fault?) – but, he just wants someone to share his unique, interesting, funny, fun, caring, giving life with.

So this post is really about Richie, but it is also about all those good people out there who are looking for love.  When I say love I mean love – I am sure, and know that a lot of my friends in this boat don’t want another ‘special friend’ who says your wonderful – like a brother/sister!  I know before I met my wife I thought I was going to live a pretty lonely life and the best I could hope for was to meet another woman who hates me and give her a house!

But, I think it is out there for all of us – it just has to come at the right time, and we have to be prepared for the surprise appearance and perhaps allowing someone to come into our safe life – we may actually have to take a chance.

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Bearing in mind in todays world, or more to the point the world that the mediathrow at us everyday on the TV, internet and in the newspapers, people are often scared that something is not what it seems and the most likely outcome is that I well get ‘hurt’ – or what the media really want you to think, ripped off, maimed, mutilated, murdered – and of course it will be a catastrophe and devastating – but no problem there is always a ‘hero’, usually a sporting one!

Richie is a better man and continues to be better and better – I am a bit old for mentors, but if I had to have a list of role models and multi-mentors, Richie would get picked up in the first round – just don’t wear those sandals!

Maybe being a better man is knowing there are better men out there and being happy that they are prepared to hang around with you – and perhaps teach you some stuff.