Every now and again the world seems….. just…. somehow wrong.

I was taking my wheelie bin out the other night and was about to step onto the footpath when I realised I did not have on my Hi-Viz vest for working on (or near) roads.  I suddenly thought to myself I wonder how many other people are walking on the footpath, especially on bin night, no doubt in imminent danger of some risk!

Only that day I had seen 500 metres of Marion Road reduced to one lane; thankfully with Hi-Viz cones and more signs than I can remember – except of course the sign saying we could do 60 again which was so far in the future I needed the Tardis to reach it.  I was grateful that these safety precautions were being taken for the two guys, suitably attired in Hi-Viz vests who were standing on the footpath were all the work was being done.

(Remember I am taking my bin out as I am thinking this – without a Hi-Viz vest on and suddenly break out in a cold sweat that danger is imminent!)

I was so glad that these two workers were safe, on the footpath, in their Hi-Viz, standing there.  Then suddenly, within the blocked off lane a truck need to reverse, albeit in the blocked off lane.  Suddenly one of the Hi-Viz footpath men steps (bravely!) straight in front of the only lane of traffic open and stops 100 cars (he did this all with a smoke in his mouth, and a goatie beard) with a nonchalant wave of the hand.  The power and the bravery of the Hi-Viz!  To my relief I did see that the truck in the blocked off lane was able to back safely and the guy standing in the middle of the road, now talking on his mobile phone (multi tasking of the Hi-Viz) did have ‘traffic controller’ written on the back of his vest.  In almost no time the crawling one lane of traffic proceeded with the over the shoulder wave of our brave Hi-Viz traffic controller.

And….. it got me to thinking (bearing in mind at this time I am frozen with fear in my driveway with the wheelie bin in one hand and my foot paused inches above the dangerous footpath!) I had recently seen the Police in their new uniforms, in just about every circumstance wearing Hi-Viz with ‘Police’ written on it.  I was confused as I thought we were supposed to recognise the uniform, and if we were supposed to recognise the Hi-Viz, why didn’t they make the new uniforms out of Hi-Viz.

These thoughts were too much for me and I walked back into the house, sheltering behind the wheelie bin from imminent danger and decided to do something about it.  We needed a plan, danger was everywhere.

I went inside and was about to get a coffee when I noted that none of my coffee cups had warnings on them that the contents may be hot, I don’t even want to talk about the kettle or toaster.  I suddenly realised the world is such a dangerous place that it should have a large warning sign on it (perhaps on the back of the moon for people approaching) or at the very least a warning sticker.  I realised that all speed limits should be zero and if there ever was a crash then traffic lights could be erected at the intersection until we have traffic lights at every intersection (traffic lights would be in Hi-Viz).

It became obvious the longer that I thought about it, that all clothing sold should be Hi-Viz, honestly why take a chance.

Tomorrow I am going to the council to get my street turned into a temporary wheelie bin mall on bin night and demand they supply Hi-Viz vests (to match my other clothes) for taking out the bin.  I take no responsibility, after all it’s the governments fault for not protecting me.

Maybe, instead, I will think about being a better man, and not worry so much.