I have a book shelf full of ‘self-help books.

I am sitting here in an idyllic setting in Bali, with no books (obviously I have the internet!) thinking about what do all these self-help books actually teach me.

A few have changed the course of my life as I have read them and had that light bulb moment where I have thought, Oh Yeah, how come I never saw that before?  My great example of this is the little book called “Who Moved My Cheese.”  It takes about 45 minutes to read, and when I did, it changed my life when I was 45 years old.

Other books I have highlighted, taken notes, even put up little posters – often to no avail when the moment comes where the books sage advice should have saved me from often repeating the same mistake!

I actually like reading these books as I always think that if I do it enough something must stick!

THE BEST SELF HELP BOOK

I think I found the best self help book.  It actually wasn’t in the bookshelf it was in the bathroom; No! Not the pile of magazines in the toilet!

It was the mirror.

I think some time ago I was reading all these books trying to look for ‘the answer’ not realising it was staring back at me all the time.

I think I spent to many years looking at someone who wasn’t me.  Whether the mirror was steamed over (anger has a tendency to do that!) or whether I had to many disguises and I never was too sure who that bloke was who was looking back at me.  Also, I think life with all its media expectations, advertising and trends can turn that mirror, or at least our view of it, into the reflection you get from those old fashioned side-show mirrors – it’s a reflection of you, but somehow it is just not right.  Another great way to get the reflection you want, is not to look – I did a lot of that.

Maybe the self-help books helped me to look, or maybe it was just that time, or maybe it was fate, luck, karma….

Irrespective of the reason, once you have seen it, it is hard to un-see.  I would often tell people at work that once you know something you can’t ‘unknown’ it – so do you really want to know – often people wont ask anymore questions.

The one thing about self-help books is that you can put them back in the bookshelf and forget about them.  Strangely enough a lot of the self-help books I have bought have been in second hand and op-shops;  I often wonder if the people who donated them didn’t need them anymore or considering the condition of some of them, if they even actually read them?

But, the best self help book – your reflection you can’t put it way.  Oh, yeah you can stop looking in the mirror, but that is only a part of it.  You are constantly reflected in all the people around you – they are your true mirrors.  Strangely enough it is NOT what they think about you but what you think about them.

Your value, my value, our value, is really about the way we see the world.  It is about the reflection we see.

I haven’t quite worked out my reflection just yet, other than I probably need to get a hair cut!  I know I see someone who wants to be a better man.

I think I will continue to look in the mirror until I can really see.