I have seen a lot of people over the years get ripped off.  The funny thing is that on most occasions the person getting ripped off at one stage or another says “Yeah, it didn’t feel quite right, but…..”

I used to tell my follow workers and especially my kids – if it doesn’t feel right it probably isn’t.  I think our intuition is more reliable than we give it credit.

I think in modern society the definition of scam could be extended a fair bit to include a lot of things, like infomercials, telly marketers as well as the outright scam merchants.

Below I have included the email trail of someone who I just suspected was a scam artist.

Before I go onto that I thought I should mention that I actually love telly marketers.  My wife cringes when I answer or take her phone when they are calling.  Sorry, but I didn’t ask them to call, I don’t know them and they probably are trying to sell me something I didn’t ask for.  I have a few strategies.  The first two are from my father in law and the last which is from a youtube clip I listened to once.

“Hello is (your name) there?”

the answer is……

1. Sorry he’s dead – they hang up.
2. Sorry, he’s in gaol – they hang up.
3. Say it is you and chat for ages going off on tangents until after it gets really confusing advise them you are (your name) senior and you must be looking for your son who manages all that for you – they hang up or ask when he will get home – talk for 10 minutes about your son and then tell them he is overseas and you are in respite – they hang up.
4. Say it is you and sound really interested and book an appointment – finally tell them you have to make sure the TV room isn’t book and that you will get everyone there for their lecture in the Nursing Home – they hang up.
5. If they are from an electricity company selling their new plan – talk over them saying you know you haven’t paid your bill and want to get it organised – even when they get the chance to explain why they called go straight back to telling them you will pay it tomorrow – yell at your partner/house mate in the background about losing the money on the pokies.  Even right at the end when you stop and listen to their sales pitch reply “Look I am really sorry but I can’t pay the bill at the moment, is there some sort of payment plan you can put me on” – they hang up.
6. (My favourite) Ask how they know (Your Name) and tell them they have rung a crime scene and You have been murdered and start questioning them about how they know You – keep talking to CSI and the Detectives in the back ground including getting a trace on the phone – get them to tell you where they are and tell them to stay there as the local authorities are coming to get their statement – if they don’t hang up, you do!!!

So, have fun with that as I did and do.

I advertised a car for sale on Gum Tree the other day and as a result had the following initial text exchange and then email exchange. (I think it’s a scam!!)  Hope you like reading it as much as I enjoyed doing it.

On 26 Oct 2014, at 4:08 pm, Ian Wrote:
Veh is good condition all round. Price as advertised. Many enq.

On 26 Oct 2014, at 4:19 pm, mike joe <mrjoeisonline2@gmail.com> wrote:
Thanks for mailing back, am ok with the price and the condition,i work with New Zealand Oil and Gas (NZOG) and we are presently offshore in New Zealand Taranaki Basin on kupe project.We do not have access to phone at the moment,its 15days off and 15days on and that’s why I contacted you with internet messaging facility.Regarding the payment,i will be paying you through PayPal,please get back to me with your paypal details so i can process the payment,you can alternatively send your bsb and acct number if you have no PayPal acct.I have also contacted my courier who will come for pick up and deliver it to my place in Darwin after the whole fund has been cleared into your acct.  Await your reply

On 26 Oct 2014, at 5:14 pm, Ian wrote:
If you are going to buy the car unseen there are a few thing you need to know:

1. It was previously used by my step son (who I am selling if for as he is in Gaol) in a series of armed robberies. It was a wanted vehicle but that has all been fixed up with the Police now.
2. It used to belong to my mother in law and she unfortunately committed suicide in the car (she gassed herself with the exhaust so there is no mess) and that is how my step son inherited the car (which of course is how all the trouble started!) – I thought I should tell you as some people are superstitious!
3. The stereo although very good with the sub woofer in the back is stuck on a country and western station – we don’t mind this as we are avid line dancers, but some people just don’t like country and western.
4. I would prefer if you could transfer the money in Rand (do you know when they stopped calling it Krugerrand because I thought that was really cool in the Lethal Weapon movies when they all fell on the deck – remember that diplomatic immunity line!!!)  as we are thinking of traveling to South Africa next year and this would really help in us saving the money and avoiding tax.

I hope work is going okay, I know what it is like to work remotely in mining as I once had to dig a hole at Mount Lofty.  Let me know what you think about the deal. I have had an offer for $2500 as two guys came to see the car today and started arguing with each other, I had to call the Police as they started fighting, one called back and said he would pay $2500 but said he couldn’t come up with the money until her did a job on Monday. He said it was a good bank job. I am not sure if I trust him like I do you, a fellow miner!
Hope this works out.

On 26 Oct 2014, at 5:20 pm, mike joe <mrjoeisonline2@gmail.com> wrote:
Alright thanks for your response and been honest, you can get back to me with your bank details so i can make the payment asap, and once the money is cleared into your bank account my agent will be coming with all necessary document and will also sign the paper works on my behalf.

(Glad my honesty in acknowledged and that he actually replied – I was getting suspicious at this stage….)

On 26 Oct 2014, at 6:57 pm, Ian wrote:
Sounds good.
The car will be ready on Tuesday as I have to use it on Monday in a reenactment of the Redex Rally in far North Queensland.  I will make sure all the Esso decals are removed by then.
Can you name a place to meet as I am currently in the witness protection program and my address is a matter of national security.
I don’t have a pay pal account but can you suggest a name I could use to set it up?
Can you send cash or have your courier bring it. I could leave the keys under a nominated pot plant in the front yard and he could just leave the money and take the car. It’s just that I might be out as during the week I sky dive a lot. Plus, I trust a fellow miner!
I also have a manikin’s hand for sale, which also belonged to my son (he doesn’t need it as he says people where he is have there hands all over him – do you know what felching is?)
I trust you, is the cash idea okay?
Your friend in Australia!!!!!

(I thought the above might have been a bit much, but what the hell lets see how far he’ll go.  When he didn’t reply, I just couldn’t let it go…)

On 27 Oct 2014, at 1:06 pm, Ian Schlein Gmail <ianschlein@gmail.com> wrote:
Hey Joe,  I cancelled the trip for today with the car.  Are you still interested.  That guy keeps ringing offering $2500 but he rings reverse charges and the last time he called he said it was his one phone call and could I lend him money!  I have decided as I trust you, to reduce the cost to $2000 as I have messed you around a bit.
I am really desperate now as the dialysis machine for my wife broke down and I am having to pump it by hand (that’s why my typing is a bit bad as I have to use one hand to type and pump with the other…. sorry!)
Get back to me as fast as possible!!!!
PS: I don’t think I mentioned the problem with decontamination after the meningococcal out break at the burnout competition I took the car to last week, but that’s not a problem now.
PPS:  Apologies but I sold the hand.

(You wont believe this but he replied!!!! – Maybe he was glad I didn’t go on the rally!!)

On 27 Oct 2014, at 1:29 pm, mike joe <mrjoeisonline2@gmail.com> wrote:
am still interested

On 27 Oct 2014, at 5:00 pm, Ian wrote:
Great!
The guy who offered me $2500 came around today and I had to call the Police again!!
I told them about selling the car to you and they said it could be a scam!   I don’t think so as you are a fellow miner like me!!!  I know it gets lonely mining, I had a special sock, it helps.
I can get the deal done now as my wife is getting better: our son got out for the day and he is taking care of the pumping.
The problem is my son came home with a bag of cash that he said was his ‘cut.’ He asked me to take care of it. As you are off shore could I leave it in your account. You can then send me half of the money as payment for the car and you can keep the rest.  Of course the sale price will have to go up hundreds of percent so it isn’t suspicious to the authorities for tax purposes. That way the money will be clean!!!!
It is a LOT of money… $$$$$$$$
Of course you still get the car.
What do you think?

(I’ll let you know if he replies again, I just had to share this now as it was getting too good – feel free to send him emails!!!)