“What can I do with my life”

I was thinking about this question.  It was just sitting there on a blank page.

It only requires an answer if you think about the question.  But, when you think about it you have to start deciding what it means.  Is it a rhetorical question, is it a moot point as you are already there, is it only for the young, is it something that you think you have contemplated before but, when you really think about it you haven’t.

So, do you think about this question because you want to or because you have to.

I read an article a while back about a nurse who worked with people who were dying and came up with the “Top 5 Regrets People Have on Their Deathbeds.”  I thought it was sad that you had to be dying before you asked the question what can I do with my life?  I wrote in my post Better Dead that we only have one certainty in life, and that is death, yet we live our lives in apparent obliviousness to this fact.

It is pretty obvious from my blog that I think about the purpose and direction of life a fair bit.  There are thousands (maybe millions) of ‘self help’ solutions in books, on the internet and from just about everybody you meet; but, I think it is really about who you are and what you want.

I came up with the little diagram which I think makes a good starting point for asking the question what can I do with my life.  These three questions are ones that you think are only asked by the mystics sitting in a temple somewhere in the mountains, preferably in the lotus position.  But, really aren’t they what life is about; aren’t not asking these questions what makes the regrets on the deathbed.  Also aren’t they great thoughts to have in making decisions about what can I do with my life.

Just try it, ask yourself those questions:

What am I deeply passionate about.

I think passion is what drives us most and we are often working against our passions, which could translate into against our values, in doing what we don’t believe in.

What can I be great at.

I love this question because it is not asking you what you ARE good at, or what in your last work performance appraisal you boss said you reached standards for, but what you can be GREAT at.  This is also a question that I ask my friends often while having a beer, sitting around after the BBQ or at the dinner table.  I ask them if you could be anything, have the job of your dreams, without consideration of money, what would you do.  The sad part aout asking this question is that a lot, and I mean a lot, of people say, I don’t know.  I find this hard to believe that you can live you life not knowing what it is, if you could do anything, that you would do.  Then again, they probably never asked themselves the question.

What drives and provides for me.

This is such a great question after reading and thinking about the above.  Oh, yeah I can be whatever I want now I have to think about how I will manage to follow my dream and actually be able to eat at the same time!  Let’s face it, we live in a great country and nobody starves to death and even the most unfortunate of us can have a pretty good life.  So, that question about providing for me is really about what you can tolerate AND if it drives you then perhaps you can tolerate a lot.  Just think about those driven to aid work, who live in the worst places on earth with only those that are there because they have to be; think about the adventurer who saves everything and spends it on that next adventure; think of the writer or painter who lives in solitude and often borderline poverty to complete the masterpiece; think of the Mum’s everywhere who give their all to their children; think of the children who leave their Mum’s to travel the world.  I think in asking this question you balance the drive with the ability to survive – and perhaps that drive may even put that survival at risk – but it may just be worth it.

So, now we are getting serious about what can I do with my life.  It may or may not be about adventure.  To some it may be about being peaceful, fulfilled, spiritual, rich, powerful… this list goes on, but it is a list that YOU have to choose from.

It’s always great doing that searching the inner self thing – often it is laughable as the minute you make a decision to go out and grab that future, life gets in the way!  John Lennon probably summed it up in his quote “Life is what happens while you are busy making other plans.”

I also think that you can’t look at your life, especially a review of your life as a ‘problem solving exercise.’ so much of our time is spent on trying to ‘fix’ stuff.  That always trying to fix stuff gets in the way of doing the stuff we are good at.  Yeah, I know there are lots of managements tools like a SWOT analysis (Strengths, Weaknesses, Opportunities and Threats – don’t you just hate this management gobbledigook shit!) etc etc, but what about looking at things in the positive.  You don’t hide from the negative, or in modern speak, the challenges, you just don’t let them rule.

Try this in conjunction with the above (it helps if you are actually in the lotus position, facing the rising sun, in some sort of loose fitting robe, preferably orange….):

• What is your DREAM – what really could be in my life – do I have a vision
• What is here already I need to DISCOVER – what is in my life now; what dont I appreciate already.
• What is my DESIGN to reach my DREAM – what is the way it should be – how am I going to put it all together
• I am going to work on being able to DELIVER my DESIGN for my DREAM – how do I sustain the implementation of my design – what should I be doing now – do it!

For those of you who recognise the above it is called ‘appreciative enquiry.’  I love it as I am sick of the wallowing in the poor me syndrome – appreciative enquiry is about taking the best and making it the fuel for your dream.

Coming up with a plan is often as hard as deciding that dream as I mentioned before when asking people if they could be anything what would they be?  It is so often something that people have not considered.  It is also something that a lot of people do not think, let alone believe, is their choice.  In our business we (my wife and I) sat down and decided that we needed to have our dream for our business before we had a logo, ABN or office space.  It was pretty hard as we had to actually decide why we were doing it. (If you are interested in our Strategic Plan it is on our Facebook page – click here to go there).

Working out your DREAM, your vision, is the most important thing.  Living life on auto pilot I think leads to those 5 death bed regrets.

So I have my DREAM / VISION for me, what next.

Well, how about a cunning plan.

Often easier said than done. Just about no one is capable of telling you how they plan; well not easily and quickly, or without meetings and committees, or a few hundred documents and the ability to turn all good ideas into the realm of too hard and this is not what I imagined it would look like. Remember, you already know what it will look like so if it isn’t going that way stop.  Below I have included the model I use which is simple to remember.  Use it for all the stuff that you plan. Most people don’t think about how they plan and you often hear them say, I don’t know how I do it, I just do – which incidentally works out just fine most of the time, until someone loses an eye!  Or, like now, you are trying to come up with a plan and you get….. blank!

Try this (see diagram).  It is easy to remember as it turns (as King Midas of Greek mythology did) everything into gold!  

Relate it to your positive, appreciative ideas.  Your MISSION – Your DREAM.  Your INFORMATION is your DISCOVERY. Your OPTIONS and your development of them is your DESIGN – Put the sublime to the ridiculous in your list!  Do your ANALYSIS and fine tune your DESIGN.  Now, SELECT YOUR OPTION and DELIVER on it.

Yes, yes, I know there a thousand things to consider, but remember this is positive not about how deep the shit is and the fact that you live in a valley.  Write things down, doodle, squiggle and work the appreciation of “What can I do with my life”

Okay, this sounds simple, well maybe not. But, its a start.  I did it and did it again and no doubt will do it again.  A good time to start is now, today.

This may not sound true, but I went out half way through typing this post and was chatting to a friend about ‘stuff’ when they said ‘tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow’ when I said I had almost finished a job that had been hanging over my head for some time.  They explained, and I looked it up and thought I would finish this post with it (it’s not too heavy, trust me, read it slow and then read it again; a good interpretation can be found here).

Tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow

Macbeth:

To-morrow, and to-morrow, and to-morrow,
Creeps in this petty pace from day to day,
To the last syllable of recorded time;
And all our yesterdays have lighted fools
The way to dusty death. Out, out, brief candle!
Life’s but a walking shadow, a poor player,
That struts and frets his hour upon the stage,
And then is heard no more. It is a tale
Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,
Signifying nothing.

Macbeth Act 5, scene 5, 19–28