I was watching the news today, well actually over the last couple of days and realised that most of it is about hatred.

I thought about all the things I hated… and the people.

I started getting a list, and checking it twice to see who has been naughty and must be hated.

I realised I hated:

• My year 6 primary school teacher who I now realise was a bully and possibly a closet paedophile
• The guy who dobbed me in at work to further his career
• Bad drivers, even when it is a genuine accident.
• Bad service in shops and restaurants.

This is short list as I realised as I started writing it that I hated more things than I liked.  Then I thought about what I was going to do about all this hatred.  I decided that I was NOT going to:

• Bash anyone involved.
• Tell them that I hated them.
• Bomb them or try and kill their family.

I decided that all this hatred was all about nothing.  I watch the news and read the papers and they tell me about the people that hate me: and I hate them back.  I spoke to my wife tonight and said that the world would be a better replace if all these people that hated me were wiped from it… and when I said it, I meant it.  After I said it I got to thinking about why I said it and why I meant it when I said it.

I realised that I didn’t mean it.  I realise no matter how much they hated me I don’t want them to be dead: even if their only reason for living is to want me dead.

I have a great problem in understanding a lot about the world; lately I can not understand when you are the richest person in the world why you want more and don’t use all your money to make other peoples’ lives better; and, I cant understand when you have all the power why you want more; and why you don’t make the world a better place with all your power.

I genuinely believe that most people think this way, yet we let the people that don’t think this way rule our world.  We often pretend that we think like them: this pretending can actually fill an entire life.

I can’t waste my time on hating people.  I am sorry that people hate me, for whatever reason they may hate me.  I am sorry about things that happened in the past that they think makes them hate me and gives then a reason to hate me.  I am sorry for the people that have the power and the money that make other people hate me when I don’t have the power and the money.  Even if really I don’t want the power and the money because I suspect it will make me like them – I could actually lose myself.

I am sick of people hating each other for no reason, or even for a reason.

I ask myself the questions: are they hitting me, killing me, hurting me, hurting my family, making it that I cant live my life the way that I want  Are they in my home, are they stopping me from living my life the way I want to.  Isn’t it true that I actually want them to want all these things that make a good life. I want them to have food, shelter, clothes, a chance at an education, someone to love, something worthwhile to do and something to look forward too.  I critically think about wether I really want them to have those things, the things that I want, and the answer is yes.  So why would I hate them; it would be like hating myself.  So what happens when I think this way and they still hate me.  I don’t think there is a lot I can do about it.  I know hating them back is not the answer.

Hate is such a horrible word, and so over used.  The word hate has a best friend and it is anger.  Although these two words may be loosely thrown together in conversations and the media, I think the connection is always there; are we angry because we hate so much, or are we hateful because we are so angry.

What are we angry about?

Do we get our food, shelter, clothes, a chance at an education, someone to love, something worthwhile to do and something to look forward too….

If the answer is yes, or probably, or I hope so, or even maybe in the future, or perhaps, then that may be good enough.  Come to think of it, that is good enough.

It’s not about the right it’s about the opportunity.

What we have, or what we want is not a right, there really is no entitlement in this life, it is sometimes what we just make the best of.  If we are lucky continually good things splash our way, if we are unlucky, how deep is the shit we can stand – and how can we, if we want to, crawl out of it.  Bearing in mind wallowing and being a victim appear to be ways of life that people often choose when they don’t have to.

But like a lot of things I write about, mainly to myself, it is a matter of choice.  The difficulty is in making the choice.  The choice often doesn’t really matter, as we can justify it anyway, and live with it.  I think the trick is to know that your choice is not only about you.

Perhaps that really is the answer about hatred.  The fact that no matter how you try and hide it, or attribute blame, it really is about you. Anger is about you, hatred is about you, so therefore if you live those things you are just living for you, there really can’t be genuine joy in that life.

I figured it out.  It is not he who dies with the most toys who wins: but he who dies with the most joys.

So maybe being a better man is not all about me.