My Eulogy

For my Mum 

Gloria Dawn Schlein

17/10/1929 – 14/12/2014

Today we were going to carry Mum into the church, but considering over the last couple of years she has been unable to walk and has had to use a lifter, I thought we would spare her that last indignation of having to be carried, and knowing us, we probably would have dropped her.  But I would like to thank my cousins Anthony Nogaj and Jamie Percival, Cheryl and Sam’s lad Christopher and Cheryl and Chris who were going to be Mum’s pall bearers.

A few years ago, well 10 actually, I asked Mum to write down her life story. Mum wrote about 35 pages, most of it was about her younger life with Dad. Mum in addition to that has kept a daily journal for about the last 65 years, her last entry was only a week before she became ill. My eulogy today, is mostly Mum’s own words.

Mum was born on the 17^th October 1929 at the family home at 18 Cedar Avenue, Croydon. When she was little she used to wonder why she wasn’t ‘important’ enough to be born in a hospital like her brother Allan.

When Mum was 6 months old, Lindsay Schlein, my Dad, was born at McBrides Hospital in Adelaide on April 27^th 1930.

Mum went to Croydon Infant School. Mum wrote of a vivid memory telling her mother to go home as ‘the teacher would look after me.’ When Mum was in Year 2, she was ‘Mother Britannia’ in the Empire Day Pageant. Her Gran Cooke made her a long white muslin dress for the occasion and her Dad borrowed a fireman’s helmet from the Hindmarsh Fire Station to wear on her head.

Each year at Primary School Mum was ‘dux’ of her class. Mum always says it wasn’t an effort, as she just loved school.

World War 2 started when Mum was 10 years old; she said she vividly remembered the announcement made on the Sunday night during one of the weekly radio plays. She said she remembered being scared because she saw her mother and grandma crying when they heard the announcement.

Several of Mum’s relations were involved. Cousin Bob and Jim Cooke were in the army serving in the Middle East and the Pacific. Another cousin Bill Fletcher was in the tank corps and was killed at El Alamein. In the latter war years Mum attended Woodville High School.

When Mum was sitting for her Intermediate Exam she got scarlet fever which prevented her from taking the exam. However, she was credited with a pass because of her years record which Mum said was a great honour in a school the size of Woodville High.

The war ended during that year and Mum says she remember she was in the train at Kilkenny Station, when sirens sounded and church bells rang signaling the end of the war. Mum went to school that day and said all day they did nothing except laugh, scream and sing patriotic songs.

After 3 years in High School Mum says she disappointed her parents, if anyone can imagine Mum disappointing anyone, by foregoing one year of the four year Myer Scholarship which she had won in grade 7 which paid for all her high schooling. Mum instead went Junior Teaching, that doesn’t exist anymore.

Mum did Junior Teaching as she thought of going somewhere exotic and travelling away from home, however she got her first appointment to Escourt House Crippled Children’s Home at Grange.

Mum said she was shocked on her first day as most of the pupils were confined to bed and all of the lessons were individual, one on one with students.

This was probably the start of Mum’s life crossing over generations and distance. At Escourt House Mum met 13 year old Rae Underdown and years later, in Berri, Mum met Rae again as Rae Burns, the wife of our Uniting Church Minister, Bob Burns; in addition Mum was teaching Rae’s youngest daughter Lindy at Berri Primary School.

In 1947 Mum went to Teachers College. In those days teachers were paid to go to college and Mum earned the princely sum of 3lb – 1- 4 (about $6) a fortnight. Mum says pay days were an occasion when after getting paid all the trainee teachers hurried to Myers’ Cafeteria as they could then afford a sixpenny salad.

It was during Mum’s college years that Mum’s brother Allan married Yvonne Lamshed and had their first child Wendy. Mum said Wendy was the apple of Pa’s eye and Mum was always grateful that he at least got to see 3 of his 6 grandchildren before his death.

At the end of Mum’s college years in 1947 her first teaching appointment was Kersbrook Primary School, which had 47 students and was a 2 hour bus ride from Adelaide in a rickety old Birdseye’s bus.

Mum boarded in Kerbrook with a very little, as in short, lady, Mrs Bertha Crook, who told her to avoid the ‘larrikin’ element in town: as we see later that advice wasn’t heeded. In Mum’s year 2 class was a very ‘shy’ little girl called Deirdre Schlein.

Mum’s Grandpa Cooke brought her a brand new Comet bicycle, which she used to ride everywhere including on Friday nights to Christian Endeavour at Gumeracha: 7 miles there and seven miles back. As Mum’s first year at Kersbrook drew to a close she took her 23 Grades 1,2 and 3 children on a ‘nature walk’ and in the afternoon they were all very tired and walking back to school when a big red Studebaker truck stopped. The kids all cheered and waved, especially Deirdre who yelled out “It’s my brother.’ It was my Dad, Lindsay who stopped, hopped out and loaded 23 kids in the back of his truck (so much for non existent consent forms for today!) This was probably the first of hundreds of kids who roade in the back of one of Dad’s various trucks and utes over the years. Mum declined a lift and walked back – she said romance never crossed her mind.

During this year Mum’s second lovely niece Faye Alana Cooke was born on April 8th.

It was also towards the end of this year that Mum says she was ‘picked up’ by Lindsay. Mum was riding her bike and Dad and his friend stopped on their Motor Bike and Dad offered to ride Mum’s bike home and his friend would take her home on the motorbike. Mum for some reason, she says, accepted having never been on a motorbike before – the next day when Nana and Pa found out, Pa was amused, and Nana was horrified.

Mum came home for those Christmas holidays and had a niggling appendix, which she had removed, at the Memorial Hospital. Mu

m went back to school after the holidays but a week later she was admitted to hospital with massive pelvic abscesses as a result of the appendix operation and didn’t return to school until Easter – Dad was a surprise visitor at hospital and from there, as Mum describes it, he became a regular visitor and they were starting to have an attachment.

Dad shortly after approached Pa, as the story goes, and said ‘I’m not going to ask you can we get engaged – I’m telling you – in case you say no.’ Mum says that she didn’t think Nana was very happy, but Pa was. Celebrations for the occasion were non-existent. Shortly after Mum lost both Nana’s parents, her grandparents, within 5 weeks of each other.

In the following year Dad turned 21 and preparations were being made for their wedding in December.

In those days Mum had to resign from teaching for 3 days which she described as a lurk to stop superannuation and to make them temporary employees.

Mum and Dad were married on the 15^th of December 1951. Mum passed away a day short of what would have been her 63^rd wedding anniversary.

On Mum’s wedding it was over 100 degrees. Everything for the wedding was handmade by friends and relatives. Lindsay’s best man was Mum’s brother Allan and Dean Powell from Kersbrook who was groomsman.  Allan said he had learned a new knot called a Windsor knot and tied Dad’s tie, which mainly resulted in every wedding picture having Dad’s tie hanging out at an awkward angle.

Their reception was held in the small hall at Hindmarsh. Eric Adams from Kersbrook sang ‘I’ll walk beside you’ at their wedding. I think this song became the theme for their lives together.

I would now like to ask my daughter Jackie, and my wonderful friend Steve Foenander and his son Jess, on guitar, to come forward to sing “I’ll walk beside you”.

Mum always said she really enjoyed her wedding day.

Just as a side note Dad on the day of his wedding had to travel from Kersbrook on the bus and he was so nervous he missed breakfast and got to the bus stop an hour before the bus arrived. I wonder why he didn’t get a ride with someone?

When they said goodbye to their guests, Pa hugged Mum and cried, so she cried too. Pa had always introduced Mum as his ‘baby girl’ and Mum confessed that she always told Pa things that she didn’t tell Nana.

For their honeymoon they went all the way to Waterfall Gully for two nights at a bed and breakfast. When they got home Mum was horrified that Nana couldn’t wait and had unwrapped all their wedding presents.

Both Mum and Dad went back to work on the Monday. Mum and Dad used to get up at 5.00 am so Dad could drive Mum to Adelaide Railway Station to catch a old steam train to Bridgewater where she was teaching – luckily she transferred to Pennington Primary during the year which stopped the early mornings.

During this year Mum and Dad moved to 4 Hotckkiss Crescent, Croydon Park Extension. With what Mum called a ‘little temporary’ house of 3 rooms. When they moved in they had to build their own toilet and laundry out the back!

Mum and Dad also had a bad motorbike accident with Mum being confined tobed for 6 weeks, with a blood clot in the leg, unable to walk. The accident was reported on the front page of ‘The Mail’ – I found the article recently on the internet and Mum was surprised her and Dad were ‘famous.’

That year, the day after spending Christmas Day with Mum and Dad and Allan, Yvonne, Wendy, Faye and Allan, Pa died of a heart attack. He was 53 years old. Pa is buried at the Dudley Park Cemetery.

That year passed slowly and during that year Mum also taught at Ferryden Park School and Dad worked for Albert G. Sims as he enjoyed the ‘scrap metal’ trade.

In December that year Allan, Vonnie and family had booked to go to Melbourne for their holidays. Mum and Dad had purchased ‘Genevieve’ an old Morris van painted blue, cream and red. Mum said they just loved it – freedom!

On Christmas Day Mum and Dad suddenly decided to go to Melbourne too, accompanying Allan and Vonnie and the kids on their trip. Mum and Dad stayed for two nights then headed for Phillip Island where the camped for 5-6 nights in the caravan park. Lindsay’s Dad had said that they wouldn’t make it to Melbourne let alone back so when they got there they sent a telegram saying……

“We made it.” (with no name attached).  Mum said that they may have actually used more oil in the trip than petrol as the back of the van was filled with 4 gallon oil drums which overnight they put a mattress on and slept on.

In 1955 Mum and Dad moved to Melbourne in 1957 where Mum said they had a wonderful time there for approximately 6 months, living in a flat in Collingwood in the red light district as Mum put it, and then later at Mt Alexander Road, Moonee Ponds. They still had Genevieve!

Mum and Dad then moved to Elliott Avenue, Belair where they saw lots of Marg and Ron Battersby. The house was fairly primitive AGAIN with a chemical toilet out the back!

 

It was 1959 Mum and Dad first became parents to my brother, Christopher Hal Schlein, born on 6th July 1959 and came home from Brighton Babies Home 6 weeks old on 24th August 1959.

Mum resigned from school of and did not return to teaching until 1969.

 

When Chris was five months old Dad started working away from home at Alawoona, truck driving. Mum and Dad got their first television set about this time. It was not unusual to have a dozen kids in the lounge room one of whom would be nursing Chris while they watched the afternoon children’s shows.

In 1961 I was born on May 1st, also at Brighton Babies Home and came home nine weeks old on June 30th.

Also at this time that Mum and Dad put their name down to adopt a baby girl.

 

 

With the growing family they decided to build a house at Para Hills in a house and land package, but unfortunately when they sold their house at Belair the man who bourght the house never paid and they didn’t receive any money.

 

This was to be a theme in their lives a trusting others and helping out people who often took advantage of their generosity and trust. So after a bit of a struggle we all moved into 6 Sundale Avenue, Para Hills in April 1963.

 

Nine months later Cheryl was born on December 24th. She came home on January 25th.

Mum said she was convinced all us kids were chosen for them by God and it was strange that each of us children arrived home on the birth date of another family member. Chris on Allan Cooke’s birthday, Ian on Neil Schlein’s birthday and Cheryl on Stewart Percivals birthday.

 

When Cheryl was three Dad went up to Loxton to work for his Dad. Mum and Dad struggled a bit during those years. Lindsay was earning $80.00 a fortnight ($160.00 a month), $40.00 went on the mortgage repayments and the other $120.00 on electricity, gas, telephone, clothes and food (also chemist and Doctors bills for the kids).

Going out was just about non-existent, but we were happy. These photographs show it was always about family, friends and the simple things in life.

 

 

In 1970 we all moved to Berri. This time our little timber ramed house actually came with an inside toilet and a laundry.

Mum and Dad were generous in letting their house at Para Hills to family for the 22 and half years they lived in Berri. First Wen, Stew and family, then Allan and Pauline, and lastly Chris who lived there until Mum and Dad moved back in 1992.

 

Mum all her life loved school, from her primary school days to being a teacher, she just loved it. She said that all her school years were generally great.

While at Berri Dad was very involved as a volunteer with the intellectually disabled and Rotary (President one year). He also drove the Special School bus. Dad was awarded as Berri’s citizen of the year (Australia Day Awards) in 1990. Mum said Dad didn’t have to win any of these awards as Mum was always proud of him.

Mum was involved in the Children’s Ministry at church and school through the Scripture Union. Each year in September Mum was involved in Scripture Union Mission at Barmera Caravan Park and Dad would cook his famous stews.

Mum retired in 1992 and Mum and Dad moved back to Para Hills as they knew that Bryony and I were expecting their first grandchild, Bethany arrived shortly after in May1993.

 

Bethany is over seas at the moment and Ali her sister would like to say a few words on behalf of all of my children.

Then in 1995 Mum had much sadness.

First Lindsay’s Dad Russell died of cancer.

Despite the fact that Dad didn’t seem at all well, he refused to go to the doctor.

Then on April 21st Dad died very suddenly just before his 65 birthday.

Mum wrote this was the saddest day of her life.

The 6 weeks after Dad died Nana, Mum’s Mum, passed away.

 

Mum said her time with Dad after retirement was short, but as Linds used to say ‘Que sera, sera.’

Mum and Dad made a life which they filled with kids, family and friends. They lived their lives rich in loving, giving, caring, laughter and gratefulness.

Earlier this year I was chatting with Mum and asked her why she was always so happy and accepting.

She said because she was ‘thankful’

I wrote down what she said and it has been on her wall ever since.

It is never to late to learn from your Mum.

I will now ask my wife Jo Battersby to come forward and read Mum’s list of what she was thankful for.

I’ve know aunty Glor all my life, I always called her Aunty Glor. In the last 7 years since Ian and I have been together I seen a lot more of her.  Even though she was confined to her room for the last couple of years she was always happy.

On 30/3/2014 Aunty Glor told Ian and I that these were the things she was thankful for:

• Having a good home
• Nice people to look after me
• The doctor comes when I call, and he is nice
• Someone to do my shopping
• Having a joke
• Visits from my family
• I rarely wake up miserable, I wake up grateful
• When I smile it makes other people happy, that makes me happy
• Having a packet of potato chips when I want – sometimes one in the morning and one in the afternoon
• I love seafood – I wish I could have more
• Looking at my photographs – especially the ones of Dad and remembering those days
• I love eggs for breakfast – emphasized love!

I have spoken a lot about Mum’s ‘younger’ life. We often forget that we were all young once. That is why on your bookmarks and order of service is the picture of Mum and Dad when they were young. Dad with one of his famous windmills made from a piece of bark and a stick, and Mum beaming: it was taken just before they got married.

Mum’s happiness was always generated from within.

Finally, Mum was wonderful at giving presents. I think we can all attest to that.   Most of us would remember Mum’s gift cupboard and gift boxes full of presents, just in case: often raided by my kids. I did not inherit this trait of being a good gift chooser.  I found to buy for my Mum was the hardest.  Firstly, my Mum never really in her entire life, wanted anything. Last Birthday I gave in and asked Mum what she wanted and she said a lamb loin chop. So we set up the BBQ in the courtyard of her retirement home and cooked that lamb loin chop for Mum.

Mum gave us all the things that we needed over the years. So a few years ago I wrote down all the gifts I was going to return to Mum. This picture is the front of the card and I wrote inside all the gifts I was returning to Mum.

Mum, I return to you: FAMILY

It is the largest gift you have given all of us, and the most precious, because you made it yourself.

Mum, I return to you: LOVE

It is the oldest and most enduring gift, it doesn’t have any conditions and it comes with an unlimited lifetime guarantee.

Mum, I return to you: FAITH

It came in so many parts, and we had to put it together ourselves.

Mum, I return to you: MEMORIES

This came in a huge package, filled with laughter and tears, triumphs and tragedies, but everything always looked brand new with each moment wrapped in your influence.

I found a very small box in the back of the cupboard, which I had lost a few times over the years, but you kept finding it for me.  It was HOPE; and now I share that gift with everyone, when I can.

My cupboard of life is full of the gifts you have given me and our family.

Today I am giving back just a few.   But I saved the best for last.

You gave Chris, Cheryl and me the gift of being your chosen children.

Sorry Mum, but I have spoken to the others and we are keeping that one.

Mum is gone but her gifts to all of us will live on. We just have to remember to share them, because Mum would have wanted us to.

I have no doubt Mum is in heaven with Dad.

We will miss you Mrs Schlein,
We will miss you Gloria,
We will miss you Aunty Glor, Aunty Flo,
We will miss you Nana,
We will miss Mum,

We love you.