Being true to your word is something that is not demonstrated or even required so much nowadays and exampled by our leaders…

“There will be no carbon tax under a government I lead…”

“I did not have sexual relations with that woman…”

These are pretty public examples of people, our leaders, not being true to their word… and they will debate it until the next election cycle and then continue espousing the misunderstanding that everyone had about what they said….

But should we follow their example, male or female. The simple answer is in our hearts, the answer is no.

A good man is true to his word.

Historically I have thought this a pretty flexible statement, and the inclusion of the ‘good man part’ is also a little bit optional depending on the circumstances, quality of the recording equipment and possible witnesses.

… and this can, if it hasn’t already, make the word of many, including myself, pretty worthless. It then doesn’t become about what you say anymore, because no matter what you say, nobody will trust or believe you anyway.

This is damage that you can’t undo with a magic wand.

So, I am a good man and must be true to my word.

This also means I must be a strong man.

Not strong in lifting weights or sticking to a task or standing for a cause, but a strong man in overcoming the general societal malaise in being true to your word.

In being true to your word you must be strong to the intention it was given and your honesty in giving it.

This should apply to everybody from the prime minister to…. well, me.

The actual truth of being true to your word is that mostly you are the only one accountable. You may not think this is true but, by not being true to your word, you, and only you, are the accountable for the loss of trust.

I have lost that trust so many times because the truth of my word has historically had many interpretations and excuses attached to it made by me. My word was not really a ‘true word’ as such, but more like a true piece of more bullshit. Also, giving your word is not conditional such as … I will if you will. Your word is really the reflection of you.

So, the answer to that is not ‘Gee, I better get everybody’s trust back’ because the real situation is that you must be a person who others feel comfortable in trusting. Trust is not given it is earned.

I want to be true to my word and think that a measure of that is, the more difficult the task the more weight on the word. Now this is not grandious actions of great sacrafice or matters of honour but, the small promises you make to yourself, your loved ones and those close to you.

So, I am sure you have seen enough words and preaching – now is the time for action.

Action is important because you can actually say whatever you want. Yes, words hurt however, action as they say, speaks louder than words. True action also has to have true commitment.

Now is the time for that commitment.

Always remember there is a big difference between commitment and just sort of hanging around and being half heartedly involved. I think the analogy of the chicken and the pig best explains it. The chicken and the pig both want to surprise the farmer with a special birthday breakfast so they decide on bacon and eggs. Looking at it this way, for the chicken it is involvement for the pig it is commitment. To be truely commited sometimes you have to give up a bit of skin. … and sometime that bit of skin can be the hardest to give up because it is pride!

I am committed to being true to my word. So have this commitment below, mainly to myself but thought I would share it – as it is important. Well, really it is a matter of life or death.

I want to stop smoking.

My latest attempt commenced on the 4/3/2019 and I lasted to mid afternoon on the 5/3/2019 when I smoked butts out of the ashtrays. A hard and demeaning admission, but true.

On the morning and day of the 5/3/2019 I worked feverishly in the yard to avoid smoking – and in the evening went and bought a 10 pack of cigars. I had given up for half a day.

On the evening of the 5/3/2019 I smoked a few but not too many as I had to have some left for the next day…!

On the 6/3/2019 I rationed my cigars, sometimes only smoking a few puffs or halves so that I would have enough to last me for the day. I ran out just before bed.

On 7/3/2019 I realise I had undertaken behaviours not consistent with being a good man – well I rationalised I wasn’t hurting anyone by having a few sly smokes – WRONG WRONG WRONG….!!!!

I was lying to myself, I was lying to my family and friends. I was NOT being true to my word. I was not being honest and I was not taking responsibility for my actions.

On 8/3/2019 I asked for help.

I went to the chemist and got patches, I also got nicorette gum and found my copy of Allen Carr’s Easy Way to Stop Smoking.

I had no cigarettes on the 8/3/2019 and that is the day I stopped smoking and the first day I can remember when I have not smoked in many years.

If you are thinking YOU IDIOT you just had a brain aneurysm which was probably mostly caused by smoking and then you start smoking again… you are correct!

It says a lot about the way I have been thinking in the past – it is a pretty big indicator. Plus what about the trust issues with yourself and others… a good question. In reading Allen Carr’s book I see how smoking, especially secret smoking is such an insidious thing that it is done in the face of the most probable result which is early death – also it as he says in the book, secret smoking “causes a major loss of self-respect; an otherwise honest person may force himself to deceive his family and friends” – what a terrible indictment on my ADDICTION!

So I am making this a public on my blog because I am holding myself accountable – I am giving my word. A good man is true to his word.

I have stopped smoking and I will not smoke again ever.

I give you my word.

I don’t want anyone to wish me good luck because luck has nothing to do with it. I appreciate any support given or words of encouragement.

Just a little footnote.

I am three quarters through Allen Carr’s book and if you are a smoker and want to stop smoking please go and get a copy immediately. I stopped for 5 months using this method previously and in my re-reading have discovered my mistakes and as to why I started smoking again. I also know that he does not condone use of Nicotine Replacement Therapy – but, at the moment it is really helping and the little demon nicotine will be in my system a little longer while I overcome the ‘smoking brainwashing’ I have been subjected to and subjected myself to over the years

I also found this note in a diary from around that time I stopped before and now know it is in line with the Allen Carr’s method and I now understand so much more about that method. I am only three quarters of the way through the book at the moment!

Why I am giving up smoking (this is out of my diary from a few years ago):

• It will make my wife and my daughters happy
• I hate smelling like cigarettes
• I cough as the last thing I do in bed each night
• It is costing a fortune (I just worked out if I live to 85, which I might if I stop smoking, that if I had continued to smoke a pack a day, between now and my 85th birthday, I would have spent…. wait for it, $197,000.00 on cigarettes!!!!!)
• It will probably make me an invalid
• I can’t get fit
• It socially isolates me
• It will make me happier
• I won’t feel sick from smoking
• I will stop doing something that doesn’t add to my life (This is a major and important factor to me right now.)

So, I am publishing this 4 days and 44 minutes in – this is from the ‘Quit Buddy’ App I downloaded and already saved $146.00 and not put 560 mg of tar into my system. Part of Allen Carr’s method is celebrating that you are a non-smoker from day one – well he advocates from the moment you put out your last cigarette/cigar. My little poster is up in the office and I am celebrating This is not cocky but just thankful!

…. and finally a little apology. To all the people that my smoking has affected from family, friends, associates, work buddies, people cleaning up butts and washing ashtrays (and smelly smoke clothes) etc etc – I am sorry about the cost, smell, effects and dirty jobs you had to do. And a little thank you to all the people who I know will support my decision to stop smoking and support me in the endeavour – thanks in advance.